I have never believed in the 'right' way in doing things. This subjectivity has probably cost me a lot, but I have gained equally as much, if not more. I always find myself doing something that others will not do, choosing something that others will not choose because I saw something more that others fail to see.
I like to do something different from every normal day so that each normal day will no longer be normal. Likewise, I like to do normal things on significant day so that the day will be made even more special. Most people make their day special by doing things, but I prefer not to do anything. The day is special because it is 'the day'. Any extra steps to make it more meaningful makes it less.
Perhaps that is why my dream birthday celebration is to have none but return to that one fine day when I was given life, when everything was normal and no one expected me. That, to me is what that marks the true significance of the day.
Sometimes, it scares me because I am afraid that this ability may becomes a habit that makes me unconsciously go all the way to find something good of something less impressive. What can be worse than letting your unconscious mind take over your conscious one? It would be a complete loss of sanity. I think I sound mad enough already. I shall end here before I scare more away with the perverse thoughts.
Jacqueline
12:56 PM
