With the lust for lust (or if calling it lust for life makes it sound more justifiable), lives of many others lost the lustre they so deserve. Gone with the lustre is the love, the warmth the peace and the trust.

What is a promise if one adopts the perspective that a promise is never required from someone you trust and unnecessary from someone that doesn’t matter to you? Should that be the case, the term ‘promise’ should never be coined. Can we then say that a marriage vow, for instance, is just part of the necessary process for two to get wedded?

Everything happens for a reason. What does it make when everything happens all at the same time? For many reasons or for one heavy reasoning? My heart twitches at every message the nerves send to my brain and I could literally feel my soul melting to a puddle at my feet. In a way, I feel like I have failed. As a daughter, worker, friend, sister and any other role I am cast in. I cannot meet the expectations that I have set. There are so many things that I could have done better. I abhor having to fail expectations. I want to help, I want to improve the situation, I want to, I care. But no one knows. I am always the non-chalent one. I feel so trapped, so useless. It seems like that I am in the world just to be here, just so to pass time. My confidence, my optimism in life is bruised.

There are so many things that I have kept within me. I locked them in a vault and threw the key away. But each reminder somehow creates a crack, with the poison threatening to seep through every now and then.

I don’t talk about you doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. It doesn’t mean you are forgotten. If you are looking at me now and witnessing the state that I am in, please guide me along. I am confused and badly bruised. I can’t fall anymore.

Can I join you in your world? Happy 23rd.