Thank God Balaclava was crowded to the max because I can't think of any other places that suit me more than the lounge in the hotel (Not saying the name because it will be my 2nd heaven after Shang and I want to be selfish.) As a matter of fact, I actually like it more than Shang. Who needs good-looking pianist or drummers or even grass-hopper guitarists?
For the whole night there, I just slipped into my ideal world, listening, floating in and out of conversations. I know if I said I saw fireflies dancing around me and caught whiffs of moonflowers, no one will believe me. I will say it anyway. Champagne and cocktails resulted in fireworks on top of the fireflies and moonflowers effect. Now I know what they mean when they say chill out. This is better than smoking and taking dopes.
Life is ugly because of the people in it, life is beautiful because of the people in it as well.
Celebrate Life, toast.
The Chuans
Beautiful Beautiful Ceiling...
Solace Seeked.
The sensuous, sexy second that ends everything negative in me...
Life is like a champagne. Without the effervercense in champagne, it is, but bitter syrup in artificial colouring. Life, likewise, without its ups and downs, is just a bitter soul in an empty shell.
Jacqueline
11:37 AM
It had been a long time since I last got a decent wink. If I just turned and look back at what had happened during these past few months, I would not be able to believe my eyes. I wouldn't call it a change in my life because I am still pretty much the same person.
Graduating from school itself is a pivot, a turning point in my life. I always think that I am strong, even as I sit in my company at this ungodly hour, I still think that I am invincible. (I will allow you 5 secs to roll your eyeballs, no longer than that) There are times people climb over my head, once in a while, peed. No they didn't get up my head through their own abilities. I allowed them to go up. That doesn't mean I am weak because I am aware that if I don't allow them up, there was no way they could get past me. The very act of peeing in public reflects a person's stupidity and if that is what they want, why would I stop them?
Simple question, What does 'meek' mean to you?
To many of us, it means weak, timid and all the negative adjectives. (Blame it on the 'Primary English we followed like a Bible to when we were in Primary School) Unknown to many, the real meaning of 'meek' is 'humble'. The greatest lesson learnt in my 5 months of working is to be humble. There are many ways to get things done and most of the time, insisting your own perspectives just cannot work out. The very act of listening, thinking and acting is more important than shooting your mouth off, firing at any opportunity you can get to impress. People just don't get impressed by machine-guns without bullets. A pistol would have easily killed someone. I can't say about other areas, but my EQ shot up so high that I am pretty satisfied. I no longer feel like slapping a person left right center these days. I am at peace. While this peace is eerie, I am taking it positively.
That said, I have many choices to make currently and I really need to sit down somewhere quiet to write, think and weigh.
I need time off to sleep as well. Time to do something Jac.
Department Day... ppl are arriving. I gtg.
Jacqueline
7:34 AM
I can't remember why and what I dreamt of, but when I woke up at 3am yesterday, my tears just couldn't stop. I honestly have no idea why. There was no fear, no worries, just an immensely sad feeling that I could not attribute any reason to. I have listed all the posible triggers, but none makes sense. On top of the perpetual cough and its new friend Mr Flu, I feel really breathless.
Jacqueline
7:54 AM
The only way to know nothing is to stop asking questions.
It was intended to be a form of humiliation but all the time, while people were staring down at me fixing the shredder, I was thinking of more important issues like "Are the cod fish strips they sell in the marts cut by using shredder machines?" and "How nice my lantern will look if I have discovered the use of shredder when I was in Kindergarden!".
Sometimes, despite knowing many things unintentionally, I am thankful for stupid thoughts that tend to distract me from my concern. Like there was once the icy wind couldn't stop blowing and I totally distracted myself with a thought on how the flying insects are going to fly against the force of the wind, only to find myself covered in cold rash after few hours of pondering. There must be this innate 'bimbotism' in me that helps me out of the worrying the polar side casts on me. I am that extreme.
I believe everything that happened or will happen eventually brings out something positive. Unknown to many, I am actually very optimistic. My optimism sometimes scare me a little , especially so when I
know (think) that nothing can get me down when I don't allow it to happen. It could be because of that that lead me to ultimate misery when my inability to control a situation resulted in a series of self-reproach on 'how I let things happen' and what 'could have been done'. It further led to the irritation on how people highlighted on the fact that what 'could have been done'. My take is that, if it is over, it is bloody over. What is the point on constantly harping on things that are irreversible when they never fail to keep pointing and laughing at me for my failure in doing what I should have done?
*Bimbotic Flash*[Is the 4 seasons irreversible?]Opinions are the cheapest form of comodity on earth. Look at the trader, then decide whether to take it with a pinch of salt (sword)..
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How do consultants survive then... HUH?
Jacqueline
7:45 AM
My thoughts are moving a little too fast for my actions. Sometimes I seem really zonked out staring at the computer screen thinking of my next move while thoughts swim around my iris. I couldn't type so fast, so I wrote in my journal. It is so therapeutic.
That aside, my bed has arrived and much as I want to update, I need to go for the Mother's Day celebration. A war has been staged at home and the players are running around. I need to escape for a while. Phantom, I will blog about it. Meanwhile, snippets of my room...
Yes, My bed. Not the best, but good enough for me to sleep for a good 10 hours during the weekends. What can be better than cuddling up in the bed and reading the book on rainy days...
My cosy corner... need more flowers though... When I find the time for touch ups.
My wardrobe... Yes, my room is that small.
There is still my vintage and royal-looking shelf at the other side with all my candle holders. Yes, you guess it right, it is still not nice enough for me to post up. Till then, make so with this snippets. I got to run much as I want to blog. This is such a lousy entry, but hey... There will be better ones when I find the... energy, not the time.
Jacqueline
12:58 PM
