I am thoroughly disappointed.
To think I was concerned and was making plans when I found out from others that I was the culprit to another's misery.
Following what Yiren says, !$#@!$%......even Jesus is not received by all, why should you care what others think of you?
Sometimes, Yiren says the smartest thing. Suddenly, I miss him. It is so simple to hang out with guys. (This statement itself will bring a whole lot of retorts: So she is saying that ....). God, save me.
Jacqueline
11:31 PM
Last Saturday was great. I promised to blog about this but I decided to do the picture-talk cos I can't blog twice a day. I will kill my brain cells.
Bimbo Lesson 1: Never use your brain more than you should be using. Set a quota.
10 yrs later... (Did we even try to envision 10 yrs later 10 yrs ago?)
8 years back, we were comparing our chinese grades...
8 years ago.. we were the powerpuff 3...(oh, powerpuff girls has been ard for 'bout 10 yrs*gasp*)
6 years ago, we were the 3 musketeers (nerds) in college...
10 yrs later, we will be the principals of a childcare centre.
We will still...
shoot the spiders, photoplay and play street fighter and Daytona...
YUM (seng) cha...
and there are so much more. Wait for us, we will be on the papers as the young entrpreneurs r the new age independant woman. 10 yrs...
Jacqueline
10:34 PM
How many times in our lives are we only sensitive to our feelings? Perhaps I am too good at reading people and sometimes feelings and attitudes of others just seemed too obvious for me to ignore. It not just irks me, but bothers me a lot. Unlike many others, I will always find myself trying to ease the discomfort of others and to me, it is a give and give situation. I am not complaining because I am the one that makes it happen. The choice lies in me and I always choose the action that would be the best way out although it is very much against my wishes. I deserve it for not standing to my thoughts of course. I deserve it.
I am not smart enough to behave like a bimbo. I don't have the strength to do so and I feel that it is too tiring. Life is simple, not mock simple.
I feel guilty because it seems like I am complaining but that is not my intention at all. My tution student gave me shit and much as he deserved all my sacarsm and scoldings, I feel extremely guilty for doing so. I felt like inwardly kicking myself because I know that there are so many other ways I could help but yet I chose the fastest and most effective way, despite being aware that it would be bad on a long term basis. I don't want to see so much but yet everything is in my eyes. It is like the people with the third eye (thank god for his blessings that I am excluded in the privilege). I am sure they don't want it yet it is included in the package. It is either three eys or no sense of sight. You get the point.
There are so many things that I want to change and I know that I can change yet I can't find the confidence to believe what I feel that I can believe. At least not for now though I know deep down inside what should be done. I just feel so drained thinking about all these.
Hopefully, like what cuz says, the glucose will go to the brain and I will become slimmer. Jac, 2 words: You Wish!
Jacqueline
9:47 PM
I was chilling out with the girls at Via Mar at the Esplanade when the topic of bimbo was brought up. (Actually, the topic of Bimbo has been there all along.) I was wrong about Bimbos. Bimbos are smart. They pout, say silly things (with no links), act blur and make things seem as if their only concern in life is fluffy pen holders and furry balls of I-don't-know-what while the defensive mechanism of a person slowly turns to a halt. Of course, I must argue that there are many ways to make others less wary of you, but being bimbotic seems to be the best and most updated way.
The strategy of trying to
'Di gong' stopped working when the term was coined to describe people who avoid certain issues by acting blur. The strategy no longer works for this era. Make use of the misconceptions people have about Bimbos and replace
di gong with it fast. I was thinking of the strategy to use for the next era or should I start the trend before the notion of bimbos get exposed? Shall I wear the hat of a classy woman who criticised bimbos but behave in a nevertheless stupid way to distract people? Shall I act as if I know, yet I don't know when I really know?
Look what has work done to me. I learnt through work that mirros at the desktop are not meant to reflect vegetable-stucked teeth, but to prepare you so that you will be in time to catch the dagger thrown. I learnt that the most reliable information is grapevine, of which you still have to take it with a pinch of salt. Humans are complex and because they are using all the different strategies in the same era and everyone has different starting points.
They are humans, but yet they are scarier than anything else: Cats.
Jacqueline
4:38 PM
Prepared for Jacqueline
born April 7, 1984
DAY-SIGN: 10-Eagle (Maya: 10-Men)
YEAR: South-11 (Tikal System)
13-DAY PERIOD: 1-Death (Maya: 1-Cimi)
NIGHT LORD: 9
VENUS PHASE: Morning Star
Introduction - The Astrology of TimeThe ancient Maya and Aztec astrologers studied the mysterious influence of the rhythms of the sky on earthly life. Everyone knows the Sun rises and sets every day -- this is the basic rhythm of life around which we set our clocks and calendars. What the ancient astrologers discovered was that other time cycles existed that were multiples of this basic day cycle. This fact was discovered about 100 years ago in Europe and these cycles (there are many of them) are now called biorhythms.
The most important time cycles in ancient Mayan and Aztec astrology are those of the day, 9-days, 13-days, and 20-days. Additionally, years are counted also, in groups of 4 and 13. Each day is then part of several other cycles, so no two days are exactly the same. Your Maya/Aztec horoscope below shows exactly where in each of the cycles you were born. Each category below examines a specific cycle and a specific aspect of your personality. Keep in mind that our personalities are complex and contain many contradictions. All of us present a different "face" depending on who we meet. The delineations below will reflect this, but they will also give you a clear picture of who you really are. The true value of astrology lies in self-knowledge, the first step to wisdom.
Your Most Personal Traits -- The Day-Sign of Your BirthHere are your strongest and most obvious personality traits. The delineation below describes who you are and how you appear to others, at least on the surface. In Aztec astrology this part of is your horoscope is your Tonalli, or Day-Sign, the form bestowed upon you by the Sun.
Eagle: You like to be a free spirit. You would probably just take-off for parts unknown but you usually have some complex relationship issues to deal with, so you don't. But you like time alone and tend to keep a good distance from most people. You have your own set of rules in life that has developed from your own unique perspective on things and you tend to take an experimental approach to many areas of your life. At worst, you can become too self-involved, at best, you are a person who pioneers changes and furthers new developments in the social world.
Many persons born under this day-sign are noted for their intellect. Frequently Eagle types have an interest in, or background in, philosophy or science, or the more technical aspects of their chosen field. You are probably a perfectionist and your exacting, critical mind needs challenges. Making plans and layouts may be particularly appealing to you. You have a strong intellect but you also tend to think in rigid patterns. As a result, you may be stubborn and have difficulties breaking bad habits.
Oddly enough, there is an escapist side to you. This may be simply a lazy streak, or at worst, drug or alcohol abuse. On a more positive level, you may be concerned with making the world a better place and you only appear to be an escapist to others. The creation of a fantasy, an escape from society or a personal journey within -- these are things that appeal to you on a deep level. Perhaps this is your way to simulate the high, soaring flights of an eagle.
You are probably very popular and well-liked, which is kind of interesting since you tend to bend the rules frequently. One thing you find uncomfortable is competition. You will compete when necessary, and you can be very serious about such things, but you usually try to avoid it. Competition with yourself is more your style and has probably become a pattern in your life.
In relationship matters you can be contradictory. You are very interested in relationships and, in order to explore them, will make life choices that compromise your free-wheeling instincts. Since you are a great believer in freedom, you stress this principle not only for yourself, but also for your partners or friends, and are therefore willing to break with convention in living situations.
Your Deeper Self -- The 13-Day Week of Your BirthEach of us reacts to the world around us in different ways. Our reactions are mostly unconscious; they represent what our deeper self needs. Our reactions both attract and repel us from things, people, and situations. What we like, what we like to do, and who we really are is shown by the 13-day week called the Trecena that we were born under. Each of these periods begins with the number 1 and the name of the day-sign that starts it. A number is attached to your position within the 13-day period that may be an important number for you.
This is the tenth day of the 13-day period beginning with 1-Death. Beneath your surface personality you have a strong committment to your community. You will sacrifice time for others, though you are often not sure just why it is that you do this. You have an extremely strong sense of tradition and are attracted to history and antiquities. You are, ultimately, a very down-to-earth and conservative person -- but this is in conflict with your outer personality that need independence. Frequently this conflict leads to decisiveness problems -- you may straddle the fence or force a compromise on an issue, but you will also fight for your principles if necessary.
Jacqueline
12:22 PM
Birthday 2007
It is only recently that I feel a little bit of Aries back in me. I don't know if I like the feeling but I think it doesn't matter anymore. I am getting non-chalent again. The past few weeks have been a little crazy and that in a way took its toil on my old bones and flesh. I wanted to blog about different birthday celebrations different group of friends out up for me but am a tad too lazy to do so. Pictures speak louder than words and I guess it shall be the excuse for me today.
SIM friends at Causeway point...
Choc mint Cake From Jack's place!
Yeah, Jas came back!
Rats Rules!
Smart pig and stupid rat
The Shang outing...
Before we go to Shang... My new wardrobe!
My day, my attitude.
Flo, Cecilia, my wonderful (albeit crazy) company!
You do get the picture I am painting eh?
Then there was the dinner with Flo at Cineleisure...
ECP Cycling...
Authentic Korea food with Yilin and Flo...
KTV at Chinatown...
Jap dessert on one of the days that I couldn't even remember...
The Hokaiddo Balls to die for.
MOS with SJAB gang...
The empty glass is mine of which I finished the other 2 as well. lol
Yoke Kheng, ru and yun.
I was secretly laughing at Yoke Kheng and Yun when they got asked for their IC when I got checked as well. Good sign though.
A picture from a photographer is always of different quality. I have never looked so China.
Of course there was Sentosa and everything. And today...
I am on MC.
Now I know why.
Jacqueline
10:03 AM
I have so much to blog about yet I have no idea where to start from. My mind just can't seem to stop thinking for a moment and therefore, I could not find the chance to recollect and piece together everything that has happened for the past week.
Time check: 12am 04/07/84
23 years ago, I was given a life of my own. It was more like a responsibilty to myself all these years of living. I guess I never really live a life
for myself. Everything is done out of obligations
to myself. I am always thinking of what I want in life, but never on what I want my life to be like. There is a difference to that because what I want in life may not lead to my ideal life.
Life is beautiful because lives manifest in each person's life. Nature, the sun, the clouds, wind, stars, moon...
ECP. I hope to find someone who is willing to go to ECP with me every week. Unlike Siloso, it is less man-made and more natural. God loves me so and it didn't rain at all, except drizzle after I left the beach. That is something he does each year to remind me that life is not that easy.
Life is sweet when family and friends surround you, when there is nature, when the sun still rises and night still falls. In the little ritual, what seems mundane is actually the greatest gift of all. I am sun kissed 'cos I am loved by the people I love. That alone suffice and nothing matters. Well, at least, nothing should matter.
Jacqueline
12:22 AM
I have this uncontrollale urge to just type whatever on my mind but everything seems too distorted. I don't know what I want to say, what I think or what I feel and I don't like this feeling of uncertainty.
I need time to align everything and piece the fragmented thoughts into its original picture. Then again, the outcome of what I fixed may not be the original picture I first started out with. What am I supposed to think?
Jacqueline
9:50 PM
It could be that age is catching up. I can no longer withstand the thrill of my heart doing bungee jumping.
Jacqueline
9:44 PM
