You know how it is that knowing less is more beneficial to knowing more? I distinctly remember how my Mathematics teacher made a comment about me and how he made my friends keep their promise not to tell me. Me, being the 24-hr on standby me, thought that my friends were bahaving a little unusual and forced it our from them. He said that I am beyond hope for Mathematics. Thinking back now, it was really funny. But during then, I was shattered. Not that I like the teacher, I was just upset to find someone saying that when I have tried and tried. All that was within my control was done, what more can I do?
It may not be the reason why I didnt do well eventually, but it could have been, without me knowing. When I was 5 years old, I took up Judo class. I quit after few lessons because I was a little behind the students as I started late. When I was six, I quit organ because my cousin wanted to give up. She gave up because I got a bigger sticker than her from the organ teacher. When I was 7, I took up drama classes and gave up because the teachers did not give me the attention I wanted. When I was 9, I gave up my poetry recital class because I was only the second best and the best student was a year younger than me. ( I stil see him around now and I still glare at him. lol) What is my bottomline? I needed attention to thrive. To me, life was meaningless without praises and support then.
Hey, I am in the process of outgrowing it (although I still love attention)! I gradually learn that failure is constructive. Negative thoughts are constructive. Weaknesses are constructive. All these embarrassment are more constructive than any other things if you are willing to acknowledge them. Notice: 'embarrassment'? Yes, I still think they are embarassing and I still abhor imperfectness. They are not nice to hear, but once you get past them, it is a state of jubilation. Do me a favor.
Jacqueline
11:58 AM
