I had one of my longest chat with a friend from JC yesterday. It wasn't the usual chat that I have with people. I would term that as unqiue because it has significance to me. You know what they say about acknowledging something that you hate so that you can get over it? We talked about our school days in JJ then. Despite knowing how I couldn't see eye to eye with some of the people in my class, I was amazed and rather affected by the extent. I was pretty affected although I told him that I wasn't and they were a bunch not worth getting upset for and all. I went for a swim after postponing my swimming for an hour.
Swimming, something that I have not done for months. Yes, no joke. When I swam my first ten laps, I thought I would suffer heart attack in the water. Anyway, things flowed into my mind like water and as I proceeded to my second tens, issues start to gush and there was a mini storm in my mini brain. It is hard when you don’t know why you are hated for. The whole world can hate me and I probably wouldn't care if only I knew why. It reminds me of Horn's effect, once a devil, always a devil. How do people account biasness that went wayward? I know as human beings, biasness is something that comes as a second nature to us. But when biasness got to the stage whereby back stabbing and overt conflicts take place, something is really wrong. If we don't find out what went wrong, nothing can be solved.
In the end, everything boils down to the willingness of both parties to solve the problem. Sometimes, I wonder if the conflict exists because of the problems or just because one party wants the conflict to be there.
Sincerity. When I say sincerity, I am not referring to the 'Yours Sincerely' we always see at the end of letters. How many of us actually write ‘Yours sincerely’ and really mean it? Sincerity is so rare these days. I have to tell myself not to be idealistic every morning when I open my eyes. Idealism kills optimism.
Anyway, Ken has been feeling down these days. I totally understand what he is going through. If you were never once killed by the education system in Singapore, you must have never been a normal human being. When will this vicious cycle end?
Jacqueline
7:00 PM
