I could still remember when I was in Primary 3, I had a great misunderstanding with my cousin, who had passed on. We were 9 then, and her brother, 12. We refused to talk to each other and he wanted both of us to shake hands and make up. I insisted that it wasn't my fault. It couldn't be and that everyone was unfair to me because I wasn't the apple of the eye, I was the rotten apple. Maybe I wasn't, but that was what I felt then. He, yes, Nasa when he was 12, said something that I still remember at the age of 21+++. He said: “I will not take sides because I know that when there is conflict, two persons are at fault. I was a kid and I couldn’t take that lying down although I fully understood what we meant then. I went on to ask him to point out where I was wrong at. “You are wrong because you refused to forgive her because you already have the impression that you are a rotten apple”. Wham, that hit me and I almost stumbled backward. What he said was what I really felt then, something that I tried to mask just so to keep everything at surface level. Till today, I still remember his words.
As years grew by, no, I mean as years piled, I forgot all the basic principles of life. With the environment influences, with friends (not that friends are bad) and with increasing knowledge of the less important things that seemed ‘more important’, I cleanly forgot how to live my life meaningfully. I was on the bus chatting with Daddy about my future. I told him my plans to remain true to myself even as I enter the adulterated working society. If I cannot be true to myself, life is meaningless. If you think the Business Ethics lesson works its way through me, you can go slap yourself left right and center. I learnt nothing from the lessons, except maybe more recently, some chemistry, a little geography and perhaps social studies. Then again, I had one of the most wonderful lesson today.
I knew my LM lecturer was good, but that good? Wow. Sometimes people do seem like they are ignorant but I guess when they told us not to judge a book by the cover, they really meant it. Like Nasa. Who would think that someone who loves criticizing can come up with the earlier mentioned theory at the age of 12? Then again, I bet he has forgotten and that like many people including me, we get fascinated by what we could actually come up with when we were young. Ok, I digress. But I learnt something in class today. I told Rena that we all have this little awareness in us, its just that some of us leave it undiscovered. Potential untapped. First, it was the power of influence. Now, it is the principles of Aikido. There are so much things to learn in life.
I feel comforted and assured knowing a little more on how to deal with what was once doubt. For once after so many months,
I got confirmed.
Jacqueline
11:18 PM
