Three times a lady, so they say. within this month alone I broke down three times due to stress. Then everyone around me got stressed because I was stressed over not being stressed about examinations. In another words, doing nothing made me stressed. My menstrual cycle went on a strike without informing be a week before hand. Didn't it know that it is against the law can I can take them to court? That's lame, but I could really be genuinely upset or it could be some pent-up emotions in me due to the hormones. The fact that I broke down remains. I found myself nodding to the symptoms listed in the advertisements for depression, but then whenever i nodded I felt like laughing. I have no idea why, but the thought of Crayon Shinchan nodding to TV advertisements went fleets across my mind whenever I do that.
The exchange program is off. I wasn't qualified. It felt like a slap in my face and I feel grossly discriminated. Discrimination in any form that has no or weak relations to the requirements is prohibited. The people at the 6th floor shouldn't be up there with no basic knowledge. I hate being rejected. yes, I have the ego as huge as three 40+ men's ego put together. Impressive? I believe I actually a man. Oh no! The closet spell is coming true! That explains by menstrual cycle. maybe I went for a sex change during one of my sleepwalking stunts. I do that quite often recently. I really cannot remember what I did in the midst of sleepwalking. I strongly suspect that my certificates were all thrown away by me when I sleepwalked. Oh, and the lost earrings! I must have kept them somwhere when I was sleepwalking. Now everthing pieces together.
Examination time on Monday and I am online thrice a day. I am feeling so relaxed that it is worrying me, hence the stress. There are times I really cannot understand myself, just like how I cannot understand computers and all the technicalities. Maybe I should control my brain and prevent it form listening to my bbody that frequently. That is before I totally lose it and start doing nonsensical things.
"How does one kill fear I wonder? How do you shot a spectre through the heart, slash off its spectral head, take it by the spectral throat?" --- Joseph Conrad
Jacqueline
1:53 PM
