Thank you blowfish for reinforcing what I once strongly believe in.
I agree that life is for living and it would be plain silly to have your happiness dependant on studies. I guess, more to studies, it is the process of growing and learning that made me jaded. It is about encouraging people to have faith yet having the nagging thought that faith will fail people.
Life is made up of many stages. Its like playing brick games (nobody plays brick game anymore, it's X-box and PS 2). Stage after stage, experience after experience. Why does it take that long for me to complete level 2? I have only three livelines, one lifetime.
Don't worry peeps. I am feeling great. I am born like that.
Like my
right-hand, we are
rare, not
weird.
Jacqueline
1:33 PM
Golden Wings
Golden wings
If there were such thing as love,
why am I still placed here?
Like a bird without a pair of wings,
trapped in a nest that is getting too small even to breathe.
When someday the wind blows,
together with the wind I will go,
helpless because the wings never grow,
helpless because I have no control.
Unaware of what the future holds,
no control over how life would be.
Wishing deep in the heart for pair of wings,
Wishing life would be more like a breeze.
But time waits for no bird,
and the wish became simpler.
Perhaps a wing is all that is required,
to escape from the little nest.
But time waits for no bird,
and the wish became even simpler.
Perhaps all it prays,
is for the wind to come and
take it away.
Jacqueline
8:47 AM
nana: Hahaha.. Don't bully Flo anymore. Give her more exposure!
Anirac: No worries, I really know how a closet feels. Ooops.. lol. Courage is to not
sigh every morning when you wake up, to wish that you were part of the
mattress, somewhere in the middle. We all have different perspectives to it.
yUnz: I didn't suffer from mental disorder, only body disorder. My mental health has always
been...like, great?!?! Hahaha. You got to take care of yourself dear. By the way, I think
a picnic at East Coast would be more fun than steamboat. How about that?
Jacqueline
8:14 AM
Why is it that each time I told myself that there are more things to life, I found nothing?PS: My poor tongue got pierced by a red pincers with chilli on it. Retribution! It is seeking its
revenge despite being dead.
Jacqueline
8:06 AM
Three times a lady, so they say. within this month alone I broke down three times due to stress. Then everyone around me got stressed because I was stressed over not being stressed about examinations. In another words, doing nothing made me stressed. My menstrual cycle went on a strike without informing be a week before hand. Didn't it know that it is against the law can I can take them to court? That's lame, but I could really be genuinely upset or it could be some pent-up emotions in me due to the hormones. The fact that I broke down remains. I found myself nodding to the symptoms listed in the advertisements for depression, but then whenever i nodded I felt like laughing. I have no idea why, but the thought of Crayon Shinchan nodding to TV advertisements went fleets across my mind whenever I do that.
The exchange program is off. I wasn't qualified. It felt like a slap in my face and I feel grossly discriminated. Discrimination in any form that has no or weak relations to the requirements is prohibited. The people at the 6th floor shouldn't be up there with no basic knowledge. I hate being rejected. yes, I have the ego as huge as three 40+ men's ego put together. Impressive? I believe I actually a man. Oh no! The closet spell is coming true! That explains by menstrual cycle. maybe I went for a sex change during one of my sleepwalking stunts. I do that quite often recently. I really cannot remember what I did in the midst of sleepwalking. I strongly suspect that my certificates were all thrown away by me when I sleepwalked. Oh, and the lost earrings! I must have kept them somwhere when I was sleepwalking. Now everthing pieces together.
Examination time on Monday and I am online thrice a day. I am feeling so relaxed that it is worrying me, hence the stress. There are times I really cannot understand myself, just like how I cannot understand computers and all the technicalities. Maybe I should control my brain and prevent it form listening to my bbody that frequently. That is before I totally lose it and start doing nonsensical things.
"How does one kill fear I wonder? How do you shot a spectre through the heart, slash off its spectral head, take it by the spectral throat?" --- Joseph Conrad
Jacqueline
1:53 PM
I feel like my mouth is gagged and my life made lower than a smelly and miserable rat. Why am I always so haunted by my past? Trapped mercifully, protected mercilessly. I feel like everything is lost and all it took was a few words. That was a misbegotten plan. I should have known better than to let the situation and the surrondings got control of me. I don't want to relish the role of a matyr or a mauldin. When I fell down, I should have realised that I was automatically nailed to the ground and that I will never be found. What was I thinking then? I promised that nothing could ever get me down, nothing could ever make me cry that way again because I always believe that when you have been through the worst, life could only get better. After the first death, there would be no other. I was wrong. I am wrong. I am never right anyway and I guess it is time to hammer that into my worthless pea-sized brain. Nothing could obliterate my memories. You will never reaped what you sowed because injustice, not justice, is prevalent. I have always thought about the innate balancing act in life. But is the sheer act of balance justified? Does it mean that because I have something better than others, I have to suffer in another no matter how hard I try simply because of the balancing act in life? I don't like the feeling of resentment overwhelming me. I just want a simple life. Why is it that each time I told myself never to trust life yet I got so foolishly entwined in the lies that life promises? Maybe my brain is really a pea.
Jacqueline
1:45 PM
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, CHRISTINA!
You really ought to give me credit for helping you realise your dream of being a small little boy. Like those 'little emperors from China. Oh, no problem, you are always welcomed. What are friends for eh? May happiness be part of your daily life. Read the album whenever you feel down and have a good laugh. Earthworms love you!
Jacqueline
1:28 PM
There are so many things in life, in studies, in relationships, in love and in us. If we would take a little time to sit down and take a break, chat with friends, loved ones, or even close our eyes and listen to what our hearts have to say on the recent happenings, on our future paths, life would be meaningful. Much more meaningful.
Jacqueline
7:42 PM
I have never thought of Jay as sexy. Sue me, SUE ME!PS: A little more to go, can someone please donate a tuff of chest hair?
Jacqueline
7:53 PM
I am hopelessly addicted to anything that has got nothing to do with exams and revisions. Well, maybe yes, cos Shan Jun Hao is a shrewed businessman. If I were a queen, I would knight Ming Dow immediately. Where else to find such a cute guy? I should be studying but I am going to finish watch the show first. At least I didn't wait till exam time to watch it.
Courtesy of CherylJac can't write any further cos she has just melted into a puddle.
Jacqueline
11:39 PM
What is up with teenagers these days? I am not trying to condemn them or their behaviors and actions as I have been a teenager before, and not all of them are like that, but many are getting on my nerves. It is not that easy to get on my nerves, so please, time to face the wall and reflect.
I have a feeling that many of the teenagers are possessed. No, you haven't read wrongly, they are possessed. I shan't talk about those people that speak as if they are possessed by a Japanese schoolgirl's dead spirit with 'lolx', 'ii lubb euuu' or 'hu arxx euu'because them acting like morons doesn't affect me. I just wish that they can avoid further embarrassment with the knowledge that cute Japanese girls don't speak in that way. *roll eyeballs*
If you haven't noticed enough, teenagers are now squeaking their shoes on purpose to attract attention. Every step is a squeak and some walk with a rhythmatic squeak. That really thread on my tail. I forgive those who speak in a retarded way with the sheer purpose to act cute. As ridiculous as it sounds, I accept the explanation. But squeaking shoes? I felt like the whole shopping malls, eateries and fast food restaurants are filled with mice. And what is the purpose of squeaking the shoes? A research on frictional wear and tear or examining the heat and sound energy produced by squeaking shoes? Perhaps the education system in Singapore has backfired. Gee, what am I saying, how can it backfire when there is no gun in the first place.
Then.. it suddenly occurred to me that they squeak their shoes to act cute! That’s it! I came to realize the point when a three-year old boy walked in with the cute squeaking shoes. I see, so the teenagers are acting that way because they want to act cute, like they are wearing the cute squeaky shoes that 3-yr olds wear. I witnessed how these secondary school girls walk in a tiptoe manner, silently praying that they will trip and fall with all the drinks spilled over their darn shoes and their full-of-clips hair, occasionally with strips of hair matted at the side of the cheek. I have a suggestion too.
Attention all secondary schools, want to motivate your students to do better and create a 'pure' and 'innocent' study environment? Please reward your students with large size squeaky shoes on youth day. That would be so motivating.
Please teenagers, I am old already. Please don't worsen by hearing with sqeaking shoes. At most I use 'less-sophisticated' to describe the way in which you speak instead of 'retarded' or 'moron' even though i t is more apt, or that I secretly wish that you fell without fries and coke on your head even though that would be a wonderful sight.
Just spare this old woman with your squeaking shoes. You win alright, you win. Just walk like a human.
Jacqueline
9:34 AM
I seriously don’t understand the mindset of many when they are over-dependant on someone. If being reliant on someone gives you serenity, for the least, choose someone that is capable of doing that? Everyone knows how the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. Is this a case of that this time round? Why do I feel my blood being drained by leeches? Seriously, I rather go to the blood donation drive.
There is a limit to everything. In case you have already forgotten, I am not that dumb machine-superwoman that accomplishes every single task and saves damselfly by the pond. I am just a human, perhaps slightly overweight. Fine, overweight. Does that make me any less of a human? Does having extra fats mean that I can accomplish more? I have this strong urge to blast my expletives. Why not?
I would be lying through my teeth if I say I have better things to do. I don’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to because I don’t wish to hurt anyone. When I really hurt someone, trust me, it would be really bad. I wish I wouldn’t help others to think of excuses. Wisen up, you have already helped so much, you are still helping them to think of excuses. I seriously believe it when you claimed that you have nothing better to do.
Sometimes, I wish I knew less of the insignificant things. Perhaps I will be happier that way.
Jacqueline
10:37 AM
The turbulent sea subsided by the little. Thank god I am sheltered. Nothing that I can't handle. Nothng. Even if it is handled badly, it is still handled. I have lots of fleeting questions in me. I...
Lets do picture blogging:
When it comes to twins, everything has to be in pairs.
Utmost relief that it is not an undersized T-shirt.
The love between us starts the moment you were born.
You never fail to satisfy that egocentric part of me.
Just don't over-do it with a T-shirt next time.
Jacqueline
10:27 AM
My submarine
Submarine
Touch the powerful weapon,
Do you feel the biting coldness?
Place your ears against the metal,
What can you hear?
Stories that were never told before,
yet that real.
Stories that explains its death,
yet people see it with fear.
And it lay there waiting to be discovered,
shelterd by constraints, yet feeling protected.
Trapped mercilessly, protected mercifully.
No rainbow no rain, just the sea.
Look at the guiding light ahead!
No, it could be the enemies.
Stay shelterd and continue with your break,
Stagnance, the break that never cease.
Fishes and divers swim past,
seeking for solace that never last.
STARfishes didn't know where they could be,
thought they were the best, they were at the bottom of the sea.
The submarine remained where it lay
Waiting for the end of its days.
Not moving to hurt the sea creatures,
not dashing the hope the world promises,
all happening...
At The Bottom Of the Sea
Jacqueline
10:10 PM
