Self-Consciousness John Updike. Apart from my lit pals that did this book in college, who else read it before? I thought this book reflects what I felt during then, and probably now. I have grown so much. (So tempted to say in size but I know people will get really fed-up with me. lol)
I thought I know a lot about myself, but when I am trying to describe what I am like to others, I feel extremely tired. Tired because while trying to explain what I am like, I have to explain the 'Why' factor too. I can't help it, it is hard for people to understand why I turn out that way. (Disclaimer: I am not insulting myself
)
I am remember how mean spirited I was when I was a kid. I wouldn't give the excuse that i was ignorant as a kid because I wasn't very ignorant. When I make a person cry, I think I know what I was doing. This is the biggest sin of all things in the world. Like that Dumbo Took
that murdered Huang Na, he actually knew what he was doing. That aside, I remembered that Dad and Mum used to bring my elder brother and I to places like Yaohan, OG and Sogo every weekend.
There was once OG had a promotion and with every single receipt, we get to spin the wheel whereby whichever picture the arrow pointed at, we would bring that home. Me being me, I insisted on spinning despite knowing that my brother wanted to play too. I was so selfish. I could remember that we had 3 receipts and I spun twice. It could have been thrice but my mother stopped me with her stern look and I let my brother spin while I sulk. Yucks, I was such a brat then. Anyway, the two times that I spun, the arrow pointed at a blank picture. Two tries wasted. My elder brother got a packet of Milo then. (Packet Milo was 'in' then) I wasn't happy and I took it and drink. Ewwww, I suck. The lady must have been so disgusted by me that he gave my brother another packet for free.
I hope nobody remembers that. Let me ask mum if she remembers. Hahaha.. that is like a slap in my face. Heck. Haha.. Mummmmmyyyyy...
Jacqueline
3:58 PM
