Bloggering
What is the best way to get popular in the world of blogging?
A streak of menace, two streaks of sacarsm and three streaks of attitude. If you have noticed, blogging has become so commercialized that few people bother about blogging on affairs that are less harsh. All of a sudden, everyone gives comment like they are so 'god damn smart'.
Yeh, yo, I was just giving my point of view.I am honest. At least I am not a hypocrite. I say what I feel. Must what you feel always be something that is detrimental to others? True feelings can only be linked to the controversies?
Initially, bloggers like XX got popular because they were bold enough to really say what they feel. As time passes, each post gets meaner with its popularity, feeding those that are more meek in their expressions. All sorts of vulgar language ahot out to prove its menace. With that, many other copycats emerged from their nutshell and started to follow suit. What is supposed to be an originality is starting to bore me to tears of irritation.
A good blog entry is 'good' only when the blogger is mean-spirited. This is the new definition of a good blog entry and it is bothering me. Take a good look at the younger population of Singaporeans these days. Try recalling the failure of the Speakers Corner. Done? Most of the Singaporeans are such coward. They dare not say what they want or feel, but when it comes to blogging, they show the whole world how brave they are by scolding and criticizing.
I shall blog what I want and not restrict anyone from their freedom of speech. (not like I can) Did the government ponder why we the younger generation don't speak up? Simple, because we are cowards.
Being daring in the virtual world is embarassing, not something we should be proud of. I wish that many will still keep to the authenic blogging style.
Jacqueline
9:25 AM
Predator and Prey
An entry that has no link. It is just like my random thoughts and my messed up mind. I am lost. What was I saying just now?
I hate one of those talk shows on TV. I hate it when they address issues that will never have a consensus to it. To me, they are just a waste of time. How can perspectives ever be one? There are some things that can never be compromised. Never. I hate to waste time trying to prove to someone that my view is 'right'. There is no such thing as right or wrong. Even trying to set this right makes me irritated.
I hate to explain. If I am treated unfairly, I wouldn't bother to speak up. If I feel otherwise, I will keep quiet. That probably makes me an easy target. But if you think I am, think twice. Look at the army of people caring for me. Simei? No problem. Bedok? Hougang? They are scattered all over. There is no need for me to argue. I am tired. I don't want to waste time. Time is the essence, I am hanging on to it, dearly!
I am craving for more. I am addicted to it. Save me from watching television programs. Jac the TV junkie. Look, I was influenced by the environment I am in. Look at all the bad influence I am getting from my SIM friends. (Nah, I love them. [No Rena, not trying to hint to you. Just in case you are reading, don't read too deeply])I need to swim. Paradise, do you allow a stangely out of shape woman in?
Is it a blessing to have a sensitive nose and a sharp sense of smell? I would say it is a curse. I hate to take buses that are squeezy. Why do men sweat soooooo bloody much? And women with Kenzo Summer, thanks a lot for making me feel so peaceful at the same time jealous.
This is a game of predator and prey. The game goes like this, I tempt you, and if you react, you are the prey. You must be real cool. Stay cool. You must not react. Be very complacent. If you are able to do so, you are the predator. Understand? Logic Logic, where are you?
Jacqueline
9:31 PM
Sometimes, we just need to sit back and watch the world goes by, to cut all contacts with the world and just realign our life objectives and re-evaluate priorities. I have been spending too much time with humans and I am losing every bit of myself. Time to be a hermit. Just shut off and vaporise.
Just in case you think that I went berserk after a few HR classes, you are wrong on this one. I am just thinking, thinking. Thinking makes your hair grey, I can vouch for that. A tad older but many inches (side: sometimes I use the word inches my mind just sway to a very porno graphic) smarter. I have learnt so much and all my falters, sad to disapoint many, only makes me stronger. I am put off, almost disgusted by what I almost did. Lets just say I wake up just in time. I have learnt something new again. Cool.
I went to NDP preview and took few photos of fireworks with both my handphone and my digicam. One of the shots looked strangely chilly. Wait till I find my infrared cd and install that program. But I did sow some of my pals too. They were facinated and some of them insisted it was the smoke from the fireworks even when their eyes and tone betrayed them. I was half hoping it was smoke. The other half of me wishes that it was an angel. Nothing close to the angelman I saw but well, let me live in my fantasy (side: This word sounds a little obscene too. Gee, look at the saint!) for once.
That aside, I had a long, but
enjoyable day with my friends from the various different groups. There was Anqi's 21st Birthday where I met friends that I have not met for a long long time, my 'forced' bowling account and many more. I am less tired now. I have a mind that is stronger now. I am going to cheer up now. Big Girls don't shed tears. (Maybe not true, treat it as a reflection of my stubborn traits.)
Jacqueline
11:26 PM
Wall of Sham (e)
Wall of Sham e*Look at the wall. Splash it with red paint! It needs to be revived. Look at the wall with red paint. Vandalise it! It needs more scars. Look at the wall with red paint and cracks, laugh at it! It needs mockery. Look at the wall with red paint, laughter and cracks, mess it up, stomp on it, tear the wall apart. look into the wall, stare at it, the wall of my heart. War of my heart.
Jacqueline
8:58 AM
Have you ever felt so nervous that your fingers, your legs, your toes and probably your cheeks start to tremble to the rhythm of your heartbeat? (trust me, there really is such thing) As I have said,this is the month of my nervous breakdown. Even that simple presentation can get me that way. Thank god I have plenty of analogies in my head. I have never regretted studying English in college. The churning of analogies never stop. What a presentation, I was so glad that it was over in the end. Still, there are so many issues on hand.
I know, don't think so much. In a way, I think I am psychologically handicapped. I have no control over my thoughts. The thought just shifts from a simple word like 'union' to 'Charles Dickens' Hard Times' to the slimy idiotic Harthouse to a Personality test, then to DPP... The thought never ends. It just paused when everyone stood up and left the LT. And I would be caught thinking to myself:"Oh, you mean lecture is over?" That is the beauty of day-dreaming, you don't even get bored or irritated at the speed in which the hour-hand of the clock moves.
I don't know what is up with me these days.My normally docile skin starts to get cheeky and I forsee it is plannig a huge pimple party. I have so many dates lining up and a breakout is anticipated. Can I postpone them to like.. say, days that I am at home. Yah ya, dream on right? Nowadays I don't even stay at home. I built my life around my projects and classes. I have no life. Going to classes full day is so tiring. I can't believe I managed to live past the 2 years in college. Could it be that age is catching up? My body has changed together with the mark of my 21st? I shouldn't have marked that day or set a benchmark. Now my body clock is functioning at a faster rate and I am aging. Ahhhh.. I don't want to age.
Pimples or wrinkles? Pimples then.
Jacqueline
9:48 AM
Duh Dar
yUnz: Interesting? Oh.. Use some other words. The ride was horrible.
nana: Back from heaven eh? I think it is zl. cos he is the yo yo yo kind. lol
bsea: Thanks dad. But I was truly spooked out.
I am having nervous breakdown and it is not even close to mid-sem test or any major life events.I am just nervous. That day I was on the train and I have to keep reassuring myself that the two Blangdesh workers are behaving normally and the big package they carry has no bomb and that they are not making eye at each other because they want to blow up the train. I don't know where I get all these bombing thoughts, but I know that apart from cats, I have a new-found fear.
I hate things that are unexpected, that spoils my schedule and I absolutely abhor animals that come out from nowhere or make weird noise all of a sudden. (I will be thinking if they see things that I don't see) In short, I hate things that I don't anticipate. I can still remember how I used to tell myself that I wouldn't do well and come up with all sorts of excuses that I won't do well just so to prepare myself for the unexpected. Things that is not within my frame of control either spook me out or piss me of.
Rejection is another thing that I can never take it in my stride. Of course, i look as if I still rule de facto, but it bugs me the whole day. Just in case you are thinking of me going up a guy and saying "Will you accept me? I am willing to be submissive so as to boost your ego", I need to clarify. I wouldn't do that in a million years. I am just talking about simple rejection.
I have so many things to blog but I am so lazy and I just can't find time to blog about those interesting things. And the most irritating thing is those big hoo has about blogging and all. Blogging is so commercialized now. Eeks. Everything is so commercialized. I will blog about this the next time. Oh, and blog about Dan Brown's DUH-Vinci Code, and those Plebian gals that speak in self-invented Cutish (cuteyish-cute English) These piss me off even more. Perhaps that is the cause of my fatgue even though I do nothing nowadays.
I am so drained.
Jacqueline
11:30 AM
I am no puppet.
Jacqueline
10:32 PM
I was on the bus to school yesterday. I was running late and was a little nervous as the Australian lecturers were extremely particular with timing and all. I am seriously amazed by Singaporeans. In a single morning with such normal setting, I have seen almost all kinds Singaporeans. (On a single bus, mind you)
At the bus-stop: A bus screeched to a stop and there this aunty with came down two big bags of groceries. Despite carrying such heavy bags and struggling to alight, she lifted a finger and started to dig her nose. Menacingly. ( Digging in public? Fine. But can't she wait? Probably afraid that she would be suffocate to death by her own booger?) I don't know what is your take on that but well... Singaporeans.
Then this aunty came. Pregnant Tamil lady. She started to make some real revolting sound and started to kakkkkkkkkk----PUI. That was early in the morning and I sent a silent prayer for missing my breakfast because I was late. Then my bus came. Throngs of passengers waiting at the bus-stop, moved to the door and that kak-pui auntie pushed me aside and thrusted her tummy to make it look bigger. (Duh, you wanna fight whose tummy is bigger?)
When I got to my second transit bus, I was already pretty disgusted and of course irritated at the thought of being late. The 'gracious' aunties didn't help. I plant my fat ass on the seat and then this Caucasian guy came up and sat opposite me. He has long curly hair, wore a black headband and carried a big, no, an enormous tennis bag. First thought: Suicide bomber. (Thinking back, bombs can be small too?)Then my thoughts run wild. Could his headband write 'allah, I serve you' when it is flipped the other way round? What is this Caucasian look-alike guy wearing a T-shirt with arabic look-alike words? Oh no, should I send a message to Cecilia such that someone would know that the burnt corpse is mine. I was sitting opposite that suspicious bundle and if there is an explasion, my face would be the first to get blown up. (Not that it is not blown up now, but at least the blown up version carries my identity). 'Mr Terrorist' closed his eyes with his palms clasped in the resting position. (Darn, he is praying before he execute his bombing plan)
I was entertained throughout the journey getting paranoid over my life and all when I realised that I have reached my stop. You have no idea how fast I scrambled down the bus. and then, a realisation hit upon me.
I was one of the rude Singaporeans that alway stare.
Jacqueline
6:56 PM
Yesterday was officially my first day of school and I am so glad to see my friends again. Had been a long time since I last went there and I was amazed that the roadworks are done, the road is broader and the bus-stop is actually further from the overhead bridge. Errr.. Hermit Jac. School still smell like school, except that it smells weird without the mix of Flora's Estee Lauder. They have painted the walls and study benches I realise. My SO lecturer is ok. You know he has substance. But how can he ever measure himself up to the Great CHUA CHONG HOCK. I already miss 2 of my most entertaining interest on day one of school.
Work has been taking a toil on my life. I am at fault too because I actually allowed it. I need cash. Still, I managed to make something out of the boredom. While Jas and the rest were singing in K box, I was singing on highway. Puzzled motorists whizzed past me and turned their heads 270 degree. I was thinking that if they could rotate their heads 360 degree, they would have done so. How silly it is to catch a glimsp of me on the roadside and putting their life in danger!? I am flattered if an accident happened.
Some shouted at me. Others horned loudly, see me jumped and started to laugh hilariously with their acomplice. Some pointed at me. The most well-behaved are the Blangadeshis. They just stare at their 'brothers' lovingly. Oops.
But work gave me time to think. Where else can you seek solace except the highway where you can't see a singale human being that is 1 m away from you in radius and probabaly few km apart from you. I thought of many things and ways to solve them and to pacify people that I may offend unknowingly. I am only a human and there are limits that a friend, a student, a duaghter, a sister, a cousin, a teacher can do. I figured it out.
The terrorists are at work again. Innocent lives just snuffed out in their little kill-scare game. I desperately want to understand why they do that. Are they driven to their last resort? I believe all humans are kind in nature and I don't give a hoot about how we were born sinful because Jesus died for our sin. Like the chinese saying, wu feng bu qi lang. Can anyone tell me why the terrorists do those and in the hope for what? The papers only recount what happened, how many people were dead and all. The plight of the terrorist were not highlighted. What does that make?
Damn everyone. Damn the people that wish to control the life of others.
Jacqueline
7:31 AM
yuan: Yeah. Thanks. I am looking ahead. Not too far. But you just can't stop memory from flooding back.
bsea: Thanks daddi. That is a very nice thought.
Carinac: Maybe Teabag parties are not that bad.We are need ways to channel our energy.
nana: Are you alive? Too happy playing at Sydney eh?
yUnz: Ya, really wish to meet up with you soon. Miss you so much.
I so wanted to blog. But I have nothing up there. Haven't been sleeping well these few days because there are simply too many things on my mind. My life is just like a thick thick book that has no colourful pictures. No doubt, there are a lot of memories, a lot of pictures. But they are in black and white. I need some colours.
If better still, Can I have Liang's paint brush please?
Jacqueline
9:34 AM
