Unseen, Unheard but present.
There are so many things that cannot be seen by naked eyes. Air cannot be seen, but it keeps our survival. Ghost and spirits cannot be seen, but the evil lurks. God cannot be seen, but I see his works. People talk about cause and effect, the amount of effort put in is eqivalent to the harvest you get. I have longed and willed for it to be true. I gave up hoping on this yons ago. But it suddenly occurred to me that maybe the time of harvesting has not arrived. Or perhaps I have harvested in terms of other reward. Like people buy raw materials and they turned into finished goods, but my raw material turned straight to money. It's a hope. Analogy gives me hope. I don't care what it is, but false hope works well on me too. Perhaps that is why I love to be praised and I love to read Horoscope.
Horoscope descriptions are basically nothing but nonsense. They tell you things that you already know and probably some other things about near future that you can bet wouldn't happen half the year. Most of the time, after reading horoscope, you tend to find something subconsciously that relates to what you read and you get excited about it, going on and on about the accuracy. Ask yourself this, :"Have you done anything to make it happen or stop it from happening since you already knew it would happen?". Nah, sometimes we don't know when it will happen, sometimes we don't know how it would happen and sometimes we have no idea if it would really happen. What is the point of reading horoscope then? I am a major victim. I love horoscope to the extent of being hopeless in it. I am dumb. I love false hopes, I love to know the future, I love to think that there are many things in life in the many aspects of life, sitting there waiting for an opportunity to pounce on me.
When I was young, I used to aspire to be a fortune teller. Of course, not the kind with mole on the nose or in between the nose and the lips. Somehow, fortune teller is almost similar to a magician. I think kids find similarities in issues or people, adults find differences. Now that I am 20, there is this whole lot of difference I can name between a magician and a fortune teller. Similarities. well, perhaps the mystery of the nature of the two jobs. Being lazy, I pefer the job of fortune teller. You help people to know their future, advise them on what to do, prevent calamities. Maybe I was fooled by the job description. (eh, sounds a bit like HR lecture notes). Nevertheless, I know I can never be a fortune teller. Just like some other things in my life I know I cannot accept. Things that have high uncertainity, I avoid. This is called Uncertainity avoidance. (oh.. OE! I am not in the right mind)
But when it comes, it will come. When it goes, it will go.
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I have long got past the stage on saying phrases like: "that's life" or "life sucks". Past the process, pass the stage and most importantly, pass the age. Can't help feeling older and can't help thinking about how much time I have wasted for the past five years. I have walked into a wrong route. Not exactly wrong, but I believe I could have done better in something I like. It's only NOW that I see all the different routes opened to me at that particular time. Either I am partially blind or extremely slow. I will take the second one.
Jacqueline
9:40 AM
