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Had been quite some time since I last blogged. My holiday mood is gone, much as I hate to leave it. Thanks to OE shit. If I fail this, I don't know what to do. Seriously, I have doubts on working hard. Changes and changes. When will I be satisfied?
Ah huat was saying in his lecture today that there are people who learnt too late. They don't listen and when the message got through, something has already happened. He said with a mocked tinge of regret that these people are just born that way. I can't help but think that I am one of the THEM he was refering to. I went Cecilia's place that day and the bus passed by a church. I saw a quote from bible and it says something like that:"If you have failed again and again, read the instructions". I thought that sounded practical. It did not say stuff like "have faith in ME or I am HE. Read the instructions. Simple.
I hate reading instructions. Literally and Figuratively. I reminded my students time and time again on how important it is to read instruction, understand them and stuff like that. I don't practice what I preached. Seriously, I need to do some reflection. Who am I to judge and laugh at people. No wonder I flunked MAB. It must be retribution. Either that or I have numb skull. Things cannot get through.
I don't want to be hopeless. I don't want. I detest it. I loathe it.
Nobody can help. I feel so jaded.
Jacqueline
10:20 PM
