Heaven in high gear
If you have heard me gushing about this book, I am here to reiterate it's worthiness. This book touches me completely. Basically, it teaches us on the art of living. I am not a believer of God or faith. Neither has this book made me into one. But still, it instills a little faith and strength in my life. I like what was written at the top left hand corner in small font:"If yo've ever been lost on the road of life...". I thought it sounded sweet after reading it.
The truth is, I actually borrowed the book to scorn at it like how I always too. I was simply too bored. But I guess I was wrong about it. Joan Brady is a deep author with very good imagination. There is a paragraph that goes like this:
"
...Anyway, this one night I was watching America's most wanted and the police were using dogs to help then hunt for missing person. They gave the dogs a sniff of her blouse and then followed as the frantic hounds went into some kind of hunting frenzy, leading the police to the exact spot where the victim was buried in a shallow grave.Then, it all made sense to me. That's why nuts are always attracted to me. They must pick up some kind of special scent like those hunting dogs and know exactly where to go. "
When I read this paragraph, all sort of feelings surged through me. first, I thought the description was funny. Then, I felt really sorry for her. It was a bitter description. Next, I thought it relates to be as well. Afterall, I am always singled out and made a fool of.
She told Joe(God)
"I felt so trapped. I was waiting tables just down Vinnie's Diner, and I was just dying inside. Somehow I knew I was in the wrong environment.That I could never blossom here on this fast-paced, freezing cold, dog eat dog East coast. And Joe said:"So you listened to the yearnings in your heart and went to the place that you felt was somehow gentler and freer. But it did not go out exactly as you have planned it."
Nice. Very astute perspective she has on life. We never get what we want and we are often trapped. But how do we get ourself out of that shit?
"Are you calling me a rebel?" I challenged. "I try to stay away fron labels; they are dangerous," he admonished. "But I know that deep in your heart you consider yourself a rebel and that you are kind of proud of that. You've spent a lot of time being angry about the injustices of your past and trying to remove yourself from them, and there is nothing wrong with that." He studied me silently for only heartbeat, then added softly," It's just that you've been running in the wrong direction."
Beautiful. If someone will just tel me what is wrong with my life. If only God is not a mute. If only he can tell me what is wrong and not make so many things happen without any explainations, thinking that I am a whiz kid at guessing games. Seriously...
"I stood at the number three carousel, watching the array of luggage circle the travel-weary crowd. I noticed one particularly beat-up looking bag go by at least three times without anyone claiming it, and I found myself almmost overcome with sympathy for it. That's exactly how I had felt so many times in my life, like a leftover suitcase that just keep going around and around, hoping someone will save it from its endless, circular journey."
It's so well well portrayed. That is exactly what I felt. To many. This might seem something normal, but to others, it relates a lot. Rejection, disappointment and lost hope. What else?
"I was astonished to feel a big salty tear slide off my face and splatter onto the ground. How could I be crying? I never cried. The only emotion I'd ever had trouble controlling was laughter. But tears? They'd never been a problem for me. "They've been a bigger problem that you know, perhaps," joe was saying from somewhere close to my ear. Tears are as legitimate as laughter. You must acknowledge them or you lose a part of yourself."
Courage and all. Someone once told me that when we cry, God collect our tears in bottles. I thought it was sweet but now, thinking back, I wonder why God spent the time to collect our tears and not fix our life or at least help us to move in the correct direction. Acknowledging our tears is to have the courage to face the problems in our life. Courage Jacq, not a brave front.
"The medical profession calls it 'phantom pain,'" Joe continued softly. "They have a hard time understanding how something that isn't there anymore can still hurt, but you and me, well, we know. Anything that suddenly gets cut off, always leaves a memory of pain."
Phantom pain. What an interesting phenomenom. I thought I was simply morbid because I couldn't forget my wound. So it's almost the same for everyone? We can never rise above the traumas of our lives? Talking about being an eternal victim of your trauma...
"I wanted more than the promise of his presence. I wanted gurantees that nothing would ever go wrong again in my life. That nothing would ever hurt me or stress me in any way."
Me too...
Believe me, a life without challenges to conquer would be hell on earth," he said. Where there is pain, always, there is growth. Remember that. And growth is the sole purpose of life."
Very convincing. Why doesn't he tell me all those like how he told her. If growth is really the sole purpose of life, then death must be too. Growth leads to death anyway. Maybe a glorified life before death.
This is my favourite part of the whole book. The narator was at a cross section of a busy road. Due to some reason, the lane on the right was busy and that results in that lane's traffic being extremely heavy. The traffic frm the narator's lane was smooth. An old woman was forfeiting her right-of-way so that more cars from the lane with heavy traffic could pass. As a result, people behind the narator, including herself, were frustrated. They started to honk repeatedly. the next light came on and they met another red light, resulting in no cars being able to make it through the intersection. He says:" Her behaviour didn't serve her the highest purpose," he explained matter-of-factly. 'All it did was mess up the flow of things."
"In life, there is nothing wrong with accepting what is rightfully yours. It keeps things moving in the right direction. It's when you do this self flagellating thing- you know, thinking you're not good enough or that you don't deserve good things- that you not only hurt yourself, but you impair everyone around you as well."
It's beautiful isn't it? The words used to motivate, to encourage people to move on with their life. Not only the words, but the very gentle way of nudging you in the right direction. "You can't make room for the good things in your life till you let go of the past." The words sound like magic. One day, everything will be over. One day, Some day, soon.
Jacqueline
3:51 PM
