It's a healthy day today. I woke up and went to near Florence's place and man, that girl was still sleeping with David. I know I promised not to divulge it well...*shrugs*
We walked from Choa Chu Kang to Bukit Batok Swimming Complex. We did only 10++ laps but it seems enough for Flo. Then we headed to BK for lunch. I thought of walking to IMM but Flo decided against it and we ended up walking to Bukit Batok MRT station and took the train To Jurong. Then, instead of taking the shuttle bus, we walked to and back to the station. Thought of walking somemore but Flo thought I was some demon trainer, as she puts it.
I am sun burnt! But I feel good and dreamy all the same. Touched. What a beautiful life, I hear it's beauty, I hear it.
Jacqueline
8:11 PM
~Incomparable to Jay~
I am going nuts. The concert was a blast. I ran to the front within the first half and hour and started to snap away. Extra batteries-checked. Extra memory card-checked. Logenzes-checked. Light sticks-checked. I woke up this morning, refreshed and realised that I did not take my dinner last night. Who needs dinner?
Jie lun is a certain someone that can create music to give you therapy, to heal and to help you get past obstacles and stages in life, to allow you to hang on no matter what difficulties. It's not about Jie lun, it's about the songs he made. Jie lun is only a medium carefully chosen by God because of his talent, to deliver the music, to help us to tide through life. I don't know how to describe what I witnessed last night. I remember him saying:"wo3 hui4 yong2 yuan3 ji4 zhu4 ci3 ke4 de4 xing1 qing2" and almost melted into liquid Jacq. In my eyes, he is an extraordinary, ordinary person. Bu ping fan de fan ren. The live was so good, even better than the cds. My thoughts are scattered, I don't know how to blog about the concert. Uploaded the photos.
Check this out--->
http://photobucket.com/albums/v295/nanahong/?start=0
I reached home at 12.45am.Thinking back, the last time I shouted and screamed was when issuing command.Then I began to read his autobiography:
Grandeur de D major. I finished the whole book at 3.30am. The book is written in fan ti zhi. Luckily my mother tongue is not that bad. I wanted to finish my novel but I didn't want to spoil that moment. I ended up staring at the ceiling, relishing every moment of the concert, memory of my college, seondary school, primary school. I don't know how I drifted off to sleep but somehow my soul was caught in the concert. Yes, the impact was that great.
Not everyone like his music. I don't care. I guess different music appeals to different people. Any music, if it helps a person to have the will to live, if it relieves tension, is good music. If I ever meet Jie Lun, I will poke him in the chest and ask him if he is human. The grand, pink piano, the flute, the drumming, the lungs, the cello, the violin, the all, THE ONE...
Nothing is more apt to ~Incomparable To Jay~
Jacqueline
9:48 AM
I spent most of my days doing stuffs alone and I am beginning to feel more and more self-centred. I have not been thinking for others and was rudely awaken to that point when a Flora told me that she is doing some fancy stuff for Chritsmas for all of us. Even in Malaysia. And here I am, forgetting Zhi Liang's birthday, ignoring reindeer's trots, thinking only about the concert and my Thailand trip.
Hand-made Christmas gifts always beat the ready-to-sell kind. I am not saying that with respect to the hole in my pocket. Christmas is definitely more commercialized than ever. Everywhere you go, you see Christmas deluxe packages, Christmas treats, seasonal offers... All the possible things that you can think of, all the new business strategies and old Christmas decorations.
I used to like Christmas a lot. White, my favourite colour. Christmas signifys purity, peace, somthing that we experience once a year. I don't understand how Christmas brings a chill down my spine these recent years. I believe there is no one incident that leaves a huge impact on me. Instead, my fear, my pain and sorrow are snowballed and the snowball gets bigger as time moves it each day.
When you lose a person, certain part of you go with that person.
When you lose an emotion, certain part of you leaves with that person.
When you lose everything, you lose your soul.
I have a body, but it's empty.
Jacqueline
8:25 AM
My Saturday was a one helluva one. Though it started officially at 6.30pm, it lasted for a good 12hrs. Together with Yanlin, Yun, Ru, Yoke Kheng and Sir, we went down to Marina Bay for a dinner of steamboat. By the time we finished, it was 10+. We headed to k box and sang till 3am. We were all wiped out by 3 and nobody really sings. We ended up cracking jokes that are so hilarious and impossible that our very last bit of energy converted to sound energy-laughters. Yanlin was so giggly and Yiru's thunderlike laughter was extrememly contagious. We were acted like drunkards walking and swaggering from Lot 1 as we laughed. Glad that Yanlin made it this time round.
They had a sleep in at my place and after so long, the feeling is still the same. Yun was the first to zonk out. Then Yiru, then Yoke Kheng. In that meantime, Yanlin and I chatted and reminiced. then I took yanlin's phone and started taking pictures of Yun sleeping in Punk frame, Yanlin in a bunny suit, Ru's porno shots while they snorred away. Yanlin and I were giggling and trying very hard to stifle our laughter. We chatted till 5+ and fell asleep. I woke up at 6.30pm while the rest slept on. Looking at them sleep makes me think of all the crazy things we did when we were together. I could even 'see' then in T-shirts and trackpants lying in the limited space like sardines. I look at them and realised that many things have changed and we have all grown in various aspects of life, moving towards different directions in life. But the bond is strong and it is there, and that no matter where we ended, how our lifestyle differs, when we come together, we are still the same squad with the same spirit within us, the same cheekiness and the same gung-ho attitude. It was the best part of my life since I don't think it will get any better.
I am glad sir came back though. But there are some things that he seriously needs to..*choke*..erm..change. *Siyun's canoeing action just crossed my mind, therefore the choke* Nobody stays at the same spot forever and I guess staying stagnant is nothing to be proud of. But he has his logic, after all, he *chokes* ("shei shuo wo mei you tan guo lian ai???" well he, erm...has experience that we don't at our
tender age. But I do feel glad that he came back and he bothers about the friendship. Afterall, he is an officer and...he likes playing jia~2 jiu...
I had a close shave yesterday. That moment only serves as a reminder, either to make me feel guilty while I play on or to edge me to play more since chances are minimal now. But thank god for Cecilia, she helped me to check the result of my com law assignment. The worst is yet to come. Meanwhile, I still have cycling outing at East Coast and lots of swim and of course the 27th Novemeber Inomparable to Jay. Then it would be my Thailand holiday...
*Jacq goes into a dream mode*
Jacqueline
6:20 PM
I had a great Friday at Orchard Cine with Jas, Rena, Michelle, and Cecilia. Taxi is a hilarious show. One of the better movies I caught this year. The leading lady is not the typical slim, blonde, white and sexy model. Instead, a plump, black, tom boyish taxi driver took the lime light. The sexy models were the robbers and this concept carries throughout the movie, proving that beauty is not the only thing in the world. For that, I love the producer. (But I bet nobody hates the 4 sexy female robbers. Even as a straight female, I enjoyed their appearence every now and then in the movie)Another thing that the movie proves is that not all cops have cafefully laid out thoughts. It's fun watching the taxi driver rolled her eyeballs everytime the policeman made a foolish mistake. My friends were laughing from the start of the movie to the end. Even The NGs at the end were hilarious. Nobody leaves the movie theatre. The $7.50 was well spent. So, catch it this weekend if you have the time.
We saw some baskers but it wasn't really what I had expected. I thought it will be a big parade but I only see a street painter, a "Mr Bean" alike and some cyclists. The Christmas decorations were not impressive and they used the same lightings along Taka as they did last year. The monotony only seeks to highlight that nothing has changed. It felt exactly what I felt a year ago and I seem not to heal completely. One yearhas passed and if all turns out within my expectations, nothing has been accomplished. It feels fast. Like what Cecilia questioned," from 10 years old to 20, it's a 10 year gap. from 20 years old to 30, it's also a 10 year gap. Why does time passes that fast in the later?"
I pondered and decided that dreams and aspirations begin to die and we are not left with much choices as we reach the age between 20-30s. Once working life is entered, time is stolen away. *shivers* I don't want to be old...
Jacqueline
8:32 AM
B:
Your Beauty lies
in Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl next
door. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actually
very beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more that
lets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may come
and go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simple
things and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things most
consider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendly
and probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,
but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-rounded
individual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug it
off because they don't know what they're
missing.
Some Things
That Represent You:
Element:
Earth, Light Animal: Cat Color:
Pinks, Blues, Browns Song:
Girl Next Door by Pilot Expression: Simple
Smile
Gemstone:
Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox
Demon, Hobbit Sign:
Tauros Planet: Jupiter Hair Color:
Light Brown Eye Color:
Brown
Quote:
"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."
Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::.. brought to you by Quizilla
Cat??? Fox Demon??? Duh?!
Jacqueline
11:41 PM
I can't believe that Singaporean's attitude has deteriorated to such degraded level. They actually kick up this big fuss as to how Huang Na's parents are going to handle the pittance. I don't like foreigners from China but this incident makes me see the flaws of Singaporeans in a very clear perspective. It is degrading. I hate the show on Channel U. The only variety show that I hate. Ren Ren Ai Li. I didn't even bother watching it. Why don't they mind their own P's and Q's? in fact, why don't the whole population just stop these nonsense and pay more attention to how bad education system is in Singapore, the standards of teachers and principals, the freedom and opportunity in starting a business in Singapore, the way people speak in Singapore, the aging population and all.
I went swimming with Florence today. It was great, the sun was good, the water was clean and I didn't get blurry eyes. We dived and I thought her how to do the wriggly swimming competition start off. Fun.
swimming complexes used to discourage people wearing non swimming costumes but now people are going in the pool in all kinds of outfits. I bet people do go in in boxers. I saw people going in in halter neck and short pants, PE shorts and sports bra... Nuts. I think I will wear diving suit next time and bring the oxygen tank down for scuba at the wave pool.
I am irritating myself so much these days. I guess I irritate others too. I am going to play Dethkarz and bang myself off track. Reality or illusionary.
Jacqueline
10:17 PM
I swam 25 laps in the pool today. The sun was great today and I managed to get a black butt. Black, no joke. It was nice though. I was only one of the three female swimmers there. The male swimmers are lousy. I saw them going underwater and trying to look at how a female swimmer swam, laughing and all. Oh, by the way Flo, I went to swim today with my ELDER brother. He tanned but I swam. Then he headed to the gym and continue training for hours. I went home and sleep. Big fat pig.
I am so stressed that I should be stressed but I am not. It may seem nothing to some of you all, but.. Ok, maybe you will think that I am over paranoid or that there is no point in being stressed and all since it is already over. But somehow feeling stressed ironically calm me down. I have to worry as it always seems comforting to make something turn out to be less horrifying than I thought. It's a psychological trick. To trick myself. Ya, I am a wimp. I dare not face the truth. But who cares, I am happier and as long as I am happy, who cares? See, I am doing it again.
I am meeting Flo tomorrow for a swim tomorrow. Luckily I wore swimsuit 2 today. Maybe I should buy another one. Make it a swim suit 3. Chatting with win and talk of our sec 1 days, the endless laughter. I can't believe 7 years has passed. The irc, kors, ah lians, stars made from straws, frienship bands... Argh.. I can't believe it's 7 years. I guess I have learnt a lot During the seven years, there were death, crushes, pain, pressure, fun laughter, scream, sweat, tears...
Jacqueline
10:57 PM
Hahhaha... hahahahah... I can't stand it anymore! This is crazy. Bey, if you are reading this, this is what that happened. I saw you on MSN and decided to keep on disturbing you because you did not reply to my MSN messages. This is what I did. I typed extremely fast so that you will not get a chance to rebutt knowing how gan cheong you are.
BUT...
Swim away(ME): Eh, are you here? I messaged you so many times and you did not reply.
Swim away(ME): Are you there??? Where are you? Up at the construction site?
Swim away(ME): The crane?
Swim away(ME): 15th floor?
Swim away(ME): Hellllllllloooooooo!!!!!!
And finally...
i hve got a pair of sexy red eyes(Bey): Sorry.. I am her mum.
BEY CHOO KEE, I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!
Who in the world uses such a lousy nick-->
To think I was about to ask you for a swim. I will not step into that rabies infested place again. At least not for a good one year.
Dear all, be careful when you are on the MSN. There are just some people who uses nick that nobody uses, nick that is so telling, so exclusive... but you may not be chatting with who you think you are chatting with. And when it comes to real blur people like , beware.
Jacqueline
10:23 PM
uh-huh..
I had a rather tiring day. It was good exercise and it was fun swimmin with my brother. His butterfly stroke created a splash in the middle of the pool after continuous training while my butterfly turned into a caterpillar somehow. But at the end of the day, my butterfly stoke did pick up. Because Dad is still in Mauritius, i have to bring Bro to Clementi Swimming Complex. Saw Uncle Heng and he told me to swim with bro the usual- 4 laps of butterfly, 4 laps of freestyle, 4 laps of back claw and 4 laps of breast stroke. I am dead tired. Bones aching now. My age is catching up. Either that or my weight is catching up. Nevertheless, I had great fun splashing in the pool because the pool is quite empty. Could be becasue of Hari Raya, people are either out of the country or off somewhere. I studied Malay and did some work and for the rest of the day, I watched television program. I want to fill my days up, I don't wish to think about anything. I have to give myself a break somehow.
If anyone notices, I have taken my tagboard down. Nobody tags anyway. have a good holiday. Take care peeps.
Jacqueline
11:54 PM
happy???
Ex-SJAB members ALERT!, Sir Charie is back and he would like to meet all of us. Please help me with this. Apparently he is back form 17th (I think)to 27th November (I think) due to a change of plan. He wants to meet up all of us. I don't know why but don't expect presents. Give me a free date and let me organise a dinner of steamboat at Marina. Please go, please, because he said that if no one goes, he doesn't mind meeting me only. Please... please...
Your dearest mate,
Jacqueline
*Yilin's blog made!---> http://sillipig.blogspot.com
I wish everyone will be happier. Slightly happier. I have been through it and I wish to help people out of it. But when a person is upset, they tend to build up an invisble wall to prevent themselves from getting hurt again. And my, that wall has powerful resistence. Instead of breaking down the wall, I prefer to wait for it to open. The anxiety lies there. You don't know what is happening at the other side of it. That is when encouragement comes in. Letters sent through door slits to instill your presence. I believe that little encouragement helps. At least the person knows that if the door no longer holds, there would be someone to fall back on. Some ways to stay happy:
1)
Share:
Nothing beats sharing. An exciting show would have been made less appealing if
you are watching it alone. The same goes for worries. A worry would be halved
when it is shared with someone.
2)
Splurge:
A little spending to recuperate doesn't hurt. This is the female motto to
recuperate from emotional loss. It actually helps a person to move on. A new
item marks a new outlook and it encourages a change. If there is a change, let's
start a physical one.
3)
Sports:
This is by far, the safest and most effective method to feel better. I won't
delve on the Scientific detail but exercising actually helps to prevent pimples.
It helps on to take a break from the rather complicated world. You do something
and you see the effect or feel it almost immediately. You seem to have more
control over your life. Every little detail is determined by you.
4)
Sing
Singing is free and easy. Just sing at the top of your lungs, joyful melody or
sorrowful tune, it doesn't matter. The important thing is getting the anger,
hurt, guilt or whatsoever out of your body through your mouth. One thing to note
though, beware of earbug. You don't want to end up feeling more irritated.
5)
Sleep
We all do this. Sleeping is actually a sort of escapism. It gives your mind some
peace and allows you to rejuvenate. It doesn't matter whether you face the same
problem again when you wake up because part of it is gone with the dream and will
remain in the dream world.
Of course, these are only a handful of ways to feel better. But try them. It is better than swearing, wallowing in pity, fuming and complaining. If it happens, it happens for a reason and it's over. So, smile and get over it.
Jacqueline
7:36 AM
Dad went overseas again!
Jacqueline
10:41 AM
Nice~
I had the nicest weekend so far. Friday seemed nice enough as we rushed down to Tampiness mall, then to Ferline's 21st birthday chalet at Pasir Ris. Walked past the wild wild wet thingy and feel like going in but it was closed. It was a quiet enough party but there was a wide range and mixed of people. Fun~.
Saturday was a quiet day. I went to visit Grandmama and bought her Delifrance French loaf. She was so happy and my heart lighted with her smile. I saw Benny and my heart went out to him. If he is normal like any kids, he should be moving on to Primary Two next year. Perhaps that is how things are meant to be. I did not see Xinni though. There must be a way to educate her. There must be. The best part is I saw Yilin and her family + her hubby at the "shopping centre" (you know how it is nowadays govt like to name markets shopping centre) when I was grabbing a bite with k. We went up and after a momment we changed our mind and went to the coffeshop near CCK interchange. The food was fantastic! We were like old man and woman, hanging at the coffee shop and to our surprise, My elder brother was there too. Poor mum, gave birth to 3 very premature kids.
Sunday was a relaxing day. I had the usual morning swim with Flo and was teaching her how to dive to the bottom of the pool so that our body and graze past the hard cement. Saw a couple of scary people and kids were swimming with boards and shoving their boards into my face every now and then. I thought boards were not allowed in the swimming pool in the past. What happened?! The rest of the day was spent shopping and chilling out at Flo's place watching VCD from a small laptop. It was fun though.
Monday was a day meant for slacking despite many people suffering from Monday Blues. Shopping with Yiru was an exprience not to be missed. It's not the shopping, it's the company. She makes me come out of my vault. We saw Sin yee in Coffee Bean. Wow, she is so pretty. That complexion of hers. And she is realy blissfully attached. I envision then getting married.
It was a meaningful weekend, having to catch up with lots of friends.
To the rest who are mugging, Good Luck.
To the friends that are working, Relax. Weekend is just a few days away.
To those who are finding a job, Hang in there, you will probably get one tomorrow.
To friends that experince some hurdles in life, leap over, you will feel better.
Be strong.
Jacqueline
8:39 AM
Dear Jacqueline,
You are the world's most miserable piece of low life. There are so many things that are within your control, so many things that you could have avoided with some careful planning and strategy, and you chose to do things the other way round. What are you trying to prove? That you are intrepid? Coward? You are a disappointment. What is the point in going to an extra mile for others and what is the point in striving for the best? What are you working for? Who? Of course, I am not trying to blame you for your inability to perform. But the least you can do is to drop the idea. Stop trying in things that you are weak in, you will fail anyway. It's not a matter of demoralising but dream big? Wake up from that illusion. Nevertheless, I hope that you will fail everything fast. Think about it that way, it's less torturous that way. You don't raise your hope, you fall hard. As usual, you will be among the rejected goods. Knowing how things will turn out in the next month, I wish you bad luck.
Deepest regret,
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
10:59 PM
I want to play! I want to fly! I want to do sooooooo many things and I have to hang on. Somebody do something, I can't concentrate
. There are so many things I have to do. 1 more day and that's it. I can't hang on anymore...
Friday: Ferline's 21 birthday at chalet!
Saturday: Princess Diary II
, shop till drop!
Sunday: Swim!
Monday: SUSHI!
Tuesday: Spend some quality time with Grandma and Benny.
ASK ME OUT, ASK ME OUT!
________________________________________________________________________
But I still have to study now...
And I feel like sleeping soooooooo much. Ma..r..k..e..t.in.g..
Jacqueline
7:43 PM
It's sad, it's so sad that the little girl Huang na's death is finally confirmed. Such innocent life ended so abruptly in a gross and humiliating way. To die naked and decomposing is a nasty image, an even nastier image for young children. Does she desrve that, must she pay for whatever sins her parents committed? Children are little angels brought to the world to bring happiness, to instill a bolt of innocence in the seemingly cruel and menacing world. They are NOT meant to be killed.
Let me reiterate, I believe children are angels, but there is a degree of selectivity towards my belief. Taking a little boy I met in IMM Giant yesterday for instance. Taking my endurance level into account, if it had been anyone else, they would have skinned him alive. I was queuing up the notoriously long line at the counter when this boy, together with his parents, stood behind me. He was running around, swinging around like a hyperactive baboon gone loose, bumping into me every now and then. I was not in a patient mood that day as the queue was moving at the speed of 1mm/min and holding on to a yucky fish that has so much blood in the back. Then it happened. Despite several warnings by his mother. He bumped continuously into me as if he was on a water bed. The bag with the fish, I don't know how, tore and the blood of the fish spurt out. The best part is, it flowed down by leg and everyone was looking at me. I was so pissed and embarrassed, standing at the counter looking as if I have just had a miscarriage. And the mother of the boy brought him out, saying that they will wait outside for the father. Darn! There is a limit, there really is, but I held on. How would you react if it was you? I had fantasy of stuffing the fish into his mouth and hitting him at his head with the fish...
We took a taxi back home and then and there, it happened again. We were queuing up and this family from China just pushed us aside and stood in front of us. The woman acted like nothing had happened and the guy, son or husband, just kept talking and laughing. They give me real bad impression, no no no.. they add on to the vile hatred I have built up with Win over the years. It never stop growing inside of me.
My study on marketing ended up in IMM and Bukit Panjang Plaza. Well, erm.. I.. erm, went to study the products and services to help me with my practical work. That was practical. tomorrow I will revise on the theory bit. I will... will I?
Jacqueline
7:37 AM
