Friends Making: Episode 2
Despite my extremely packed schedule, I have decided to squeeze in some time for this special feature: Skype suspect carrys on with perseverence.
Here it goes. "So how can we be friends" again, no punctuations. I ignored because I was in a project discussion. Came another in the evening, (hours later)"If you think that we can't be friends just tell me. Don't let me sms all the way and you not replying." Ah huh, with punctuations, well done. I replied this time round despite being in a tuition. "First, I don't know you. Second, I don't have time. Third,I am sorry,I don't want to make friends." Can't help feeling a sweet victory that I finally found my courage to be real mean. The victory was short-lived. I thought I have made him mad or embarrassed, I was throughly wrong. "since you still don't want to reply then I have left no choice. sorry to disturb you if there is still fate i think we will meet each other. Bye have a nice day good night :)" I am immensly amazed and lost for words. I wanted to message back,"I admire your courage to find friends." But I decided against it since I don't want it to be never-ending.
Suddenly, I came to a conclusion. Perhaps he is really looking for a friend. Poor guy. But his style of sms-ing and the behaviour seemed strangely familiar. I have a feeling he is that someone teaching in that Secondary school... I have erased the number and had long forgotten such a person exists. This is getting scary. If it is him, I rather it to be a prank or someone else. Angels, angels, help me.
I feel myself floating along the school computer labs everyday. Newspapers seem to report everything on sports and I SSC's website seems revolting all of a sudden. Few more days to go, hang in there!
Jacqueline
11:01 PM
Out of the blue...
I am not a person that hates to make friend. Maybe, well sometimes I am, but this is different. Imagine someone messaging you in a strange number saying "good morning" with no Caps, No full-stop... It struck my curiousity and I replied, wanting to know who the well wisher was. The reply? "Derek". For a momment, I was gripped by fear. I thought that I have been rushing through the marketing project and that part of my memory was erased due to overloading of information. I went on replying apologetically, "Derek? So sorry, but which?" Then came the sickening short message,"I
get your number from sky pe". I believe he meant skype and I can't help but roll my eyeballs. I have downloaded skype just so to chat with friends from Aust. Who are you??? Am I under any obligation to reply your messages and act as if I know you well? And I hate 1 word sms reply, except 'ok'. Let me reiterate, I lke making friends, but not the shallow kind of friendship. Anyway, it's a special day today. I should find peace. Such incident should not affect me.
Great, great, just when I thought I will find peace, a message comes in again.
"Y not replying me? are u angry with me cos i got your number without permission?" Duh? How am I supposed to reply? Is this a prank? If it is, this is a list of the prime suspect:
Suspect No.1 : My students. (Hundreds of them, but who? They probably have no ides about skype)
Suspect No. 2: Nana Bey Choo kee. (Must be her, she has the wackiest idea, but she has no idea that I have skype account!)
Suspect No. 3: Cheryl (Afterall, she was the one who introduced Skype to me. but Cheryl is too busy to do that. I bet she doesn't even think about it!)
Suspect No 4: Lin. (Recently, she has been into this weird mood of pairing me up with people. Maybe she lias with cheryl?)
Here comes another clue: "I 20 this year my name derek and i doing NS now. Just wants to make friend with you." HUH?
Suspect No 5: Lei ming. (Today go army sure make new friends. What more same age? Bully me even before going into jail? But he doesn't know I use Skype! Who???)
Help me people, it must be someone.
Jacqueline
10:09 AM
Giddy-up!
The tranquility prevails. I feel more relaxed with very short meetups with Win and Carina. Carina, you look great. Now no one compares the circumference of arms with me!
Reiterating what I saw on Win's blog on the part: "An Aries hates Boredom", I have to agree. I truely hate the feeling of being bored. But boredom and peace are too different issues. People often mixed the two up. Say, do you feel bored when there is no tiffs or arguement between you and your family, boy/girlfreind or friends? Do you feel peace when there is nothing to do in your life? Similarly, does a person who aims for simplicity in life seems like a boring person that has no life to you at all?
Questions, questions questions, when will I have them all answered?
5 more days to go. 5 more days to a short emancipation and then enter into a small vault with even more locks. the vault is empty, it is waiting for me. But before the small vault, before the emancipation, I have to first figure out how to get out of this big vault. It is slightly opened now. I am no longer claustrophic. air is seeping in. 5 more days to go.
Jacqueline
11:16 PM
I was on my way to school when the bus stopped at a juntion. I stared out of the glass panel and saw this little bird standing in the middle of the road on the other side. Cars whizzed past and it took its stand. The bird was hopping and looked as if it was in a dilema. I observed how it hop forward a step and moved back 2 steps. It looked flustered and I began to worry that a car will roll it flat. I squinted my eyes and realised that there was another bird flat on the ground. The blood was fresh and the feathers were ruffled. It was jerking. A car swerved in and the bird flew away.
Then, everything piece together. Poor dickies.
As I always say, cherish whatever you have, every little momment in your life. Now that I lost it, at least I did cherished. No regrets.
I feel the familiar surge of peace.
Jacqueline
10:52 AM
Peace Returns.
Happy Birthday Ge Ge!
Happy Birthday Ge Ge!
The past few days had almost turned me into a law geek. What sections, paragraphs and acts... Now, peace has returned, solace is found. It was a long day, 8.15 am in school, 12.30 class ended, 1.45pm project discussion ended. tuition 3-5pm, shopping for present till 6.45pm. Finally home for the celebration. It's these little occassions that perk me up when I feel lost in my search of meaning to life. It gives me energy, strength to carry on. I love my family.
Jacqueline
9:27 PM
What the..
I always enjoy Flora's company despite being bullied harmlessly by her occassionally. She is one rare gem when it comes to frankness. Ohh..sounds like a testimonial. Never mind, she won't see this anyway.
Everything was fine until the afternoon. Then again, I had a great morning because I was early in school today and managed to catch a cool 20 mins with one of the guys in my class. Before you jump into any conclusion, before any well wishers start congratulating me for pursuing my love and finally finding the right one, I wish to say this: I DON"T FEEL ANYTHING SPECIAL FOR HIM. I just felt comfortable because that is the way classmates should be like. Gossiping before and after and maybe during lessons. I am by nature a sociable person much as many plead to disagree. Maing friends somehow increase the number of people you can rely on. Come job offers, treats, talks, relief,jokes and discounts, there is your share. Finally, after the two semesters, I am chatting with someone not inside or around my clique. It makes school a better place when you know more people. I think second sem is so much better than the first one. Cecilia is a wonderful blessing and her clique is just as great. There are days whereby we are one big group, talking about trips to KL, Cambodia and all. Even IF it's just pure talk, life is made more interesting.
I feel good.
Since I am happy that I have made a new friend today, the following unhappy bit should be made a PS.
PS:
Win (http://lurvegerr.blogspot.com/), whatever you are feeling in your latest entry, I feel the same. Almost, except for different reasons. Maybe it's a day whereby Aries should all lie low.I am going to watch TV instead of doing nail art as my therapy.
PS:
To all readers:
1) How do you feel when you are played out?
2) How do you feel when your abundant patience are running out?
3) How do you feel when you bottle everything up and swallow them down?
4) How do you feel when you are taken for granted?
5) How do you feel when people expect you to behave in the way they want you to be?
6) How do you feel when the top five are combined together?
Jacqueline
7:10 PM
Had been days since I last blogged. I couldn't bring myself to as I was literally on my fours crawling from a place to another. I don't know if It's gastric or whatever, my stomachache is acting up again. I had never felt that great of pain. Pain has never been a problem to me cos most of the time I am immuned to it. But that, it felt like the side of my stomach was integrating or a turbine finding its way out through the walls of my stomach. Even turning to the sides takes great effort on my part. I am better now though. It's on and off.
Read the news on Manny? The little Indonesian victime from the Bombing in Jarkata. Poor thing, 5 years of living, every bit so fragile, so helpless and without a mum now. How is she going to choose between the two fathers? How is she going to decide which one does not have an underlying intention? How, how is she going to survive the rest of the live being half paralysed, being physically less abled? All these problems, only if she pull it through.
I despised each separate drop of weakness as I read about the terrorists. What do they exactly want? Why can't there be a compromise? Peace, they are in Netherland.
Jacqueline
7:13 AM
Finally, Marketing test is over. I still can't get over the fact that there was a sudden change in the test format, and the best part is, we were not informed at all. Instead of 30 questions, each half a mark, it turned out to be 30 questions, each one mark and whenever a mistake is made, half a mark would be deducted. And the silliest part is that we have to attempt all the questions. So, if I can negative mark, seriously, I won't be surprised. Next, it would be Econs, and the various projects and assignments. I am lost, but thank God for the little perk in November. Yes Bey, my friend managed to help me get it, sort of pre order thingy. I hope nothing will steal that perk away.
Everytime you look forward to something, somehow things will not come out the way you thought it would be. I have immuned myself against such disappointment to suffer any hurt. Never place your hopes too high cos the higher you climb, the harder you fall.
The law does not represent justice. For the dead that cannot seek justice, for the poor who gets bullied, for the unlucky souls who suffer damnation... Justice comes with poverty, sufferings and pain. Which would you rather?
Jay, November 27th $148. I got it. Hope things will turn out fine.
Jacqueline
10:03 PM
What a fucked up day. The day is filled with signs. Signs of relief, signs of weariness, signs of resignation. Why can't things go smoothly? Why must it always be me at the receiving end? FUCK.
Jacqueline
11:17 AM
I almost forgot to blog about this. It happened last Saturday. I was as usual early for my law lecture and thus decided to sit at the benches outside LT. it was 8.30 am and class starts at 9.30. I had an hour to kill and was reading the papers when a coursemate came, relieved to find me just as early. We were discussing on an assignment, speaking softly as it was in the morning and I guess she was as sleepy as I am awake. I am not known for speaking loudly too. We were halfway through our conversation when someone slammed on the benches and shouted (apparently to us since we were the only ones present) in a badly toned English,"Ex-q-sme, Ni mer shuo hua neng bu neng xiao sheng dian-errrr?" Our first reaction was to say,"oh, sorry." After which my friend started to whisper,"As if we were talking loudly and go to the library if you want pin dropped silence". This was followed by a series of eye ball rolling and face twitching. If I weren't pissed, I would have laughed at the look. Out of the corner of the eye, I saw that unreasonable girl glaring I just looked down.
After the lecture, I told my friends who were as late as I was early what happened. Then they all spoke of ways of how they would react if they were in my shoes. These include flashing middle finger and shouting names, speaking more loudly than before, glared at her hard or telling her to return to China if she is unhappy... I told then that maybe she was frustrated because she couldn't understand the English in the textbook and a series of grunts, rebutts and protest followed. My friends, on one hand I feel so protected and on the other, I have to keep them out of trouble. Tsk Tsk...
Jacqueline
11:26 PM
My eyes hurt!
I thought that buying that Nike bag will revitalise me. I thought that shopping perks me up. I thought that spending brings back my sprite. I am wrong. I think I am In deep deep trouble with all my subjects. They are so heavy, so so heavy. I saw the graduates and envy flooded me. At the rate my work is going, I will take 5 years to graduate instead of 3. I hate Accounting, hate it to the core. The more you love something, the greater the expectations. The greater the failure, the angrier you get.
Thank god for sports. I had a great morning swimming despite my eyes hurting like crazy. The swim was free in conjunction with the National Healthy Lifestyle. I was slightly perked up by Florence's and Mum's conversation in the morning. Flo is hilarious. Can't stand the two. Had a great sleep and again, my studying plans were all foiled. It's so hard to keep away from the Tv and computer.To think that me, a light sleeper, me, the invincible woman that needs little sleep, slept my Saturday away when there is no tuition. I am such a loser. Jacq, I look down on you. Ah, shucks, who am I?
PS: *I got Sir Qing Hua's no.! Lalalala... Yanlin! Si yun! Anqi! lalalala... hahaha, sometimes, some part of me never grows up*
Jacqueline
5:27 PM
shopping spree
Dear Jacqueline,
I am doing fine. Busy and struggling, but enjoying every bit of it. I am o glad to hear from you. You are an important form of support and reminder. Hang in there, nobody is born to win over the world. Good luck and smile more.
******************************************
I am so stressed. That calls for a shopping spree. Shopping spree is therapeutic but guys can never get hold of that theory. I was supposed to, as usual, act as if I am hardworking, planning to study in Coffee Bean at JP while waiting for Florence to revitalise ourselves through shopping. But I forgot to bring the Perlini 40% discount and had to go back to retrieve it. There goes my study time. Then again, we had the greatest time choosing and buying accessories. The result: a black bracelet: $38, 3pairs of earrings: 34+ 30+ 28. And because of the 40% discount coupon, ALL FOR $78!!! I felt like the world was in my hand then, as if I have conquered the forces of the
free market and price mechanism. Then we went to look at the
bags. That's it, since spending is really so effective in making me happy, I have decided to buy that Nike bag.
Life is hectic. Studying is bad enough, I have to juggle that between the tuitions. Being a part
time nanny, I have to FETCH. I was telling Rena how it isn't as bad as she thought and that I don't really fetch often but now, I am fetching for almost every tuition lesson. Sign... Anyway, I met Joshua, one of the students in WSSS. I missed there although some
people there suck. But youths and children, they are such natural and pure
people. I sam seldom confident but if I am, then I am good at that. Never been so confident and comfortable with a job...Unrealised dreams... I was doing the quiz with Rena, Jasline, Flora and Michelle and the outcome was so true. Not going to let anything pull me down from the aftermath of the
shopping spree.
I love escapes. Despite being afraid of not being able to get out once I am in, I love the thrill of drifting from the world of reality. It's not healthy but indulding yourself in the world of imagination is a real treat. Don't think of orgasm Flo, I am not talking about fantasy. That aside, try drifting and the feeling is beyond imagination.
Jacqueline
8:29 PM
