I feel way better after letting part of everything that I have been swallowing down to Bey. Guess distance is not a problem. Nowadays, the only people that I really keep in contact with often are my three friends in Australia, ironically. Maybe I should stay there, period. Life, with all it's unexpected twist, is slowly driving me to the edge. I am left hanging there, unable to move, unable to shout or call for help. One more misunderstanding and the miserably thin twig will crack. My yoyo theory is taking effect. Life is pit-low. Maybe I subconciously made it pit low. Nevertheless, I am used to it.
I am STILL not talking to my brother and tomorrow is 3rd of August, meaning that Jay's album will be here tomorrow. Last night I dreamt that we spoke like before. It was so real until Sin jie kicked at my bed. Just in case you haven't noticed, we are sleeping together now. Thanks to her previous nanny and her big mouth. That nanny of hers was bad mouthing my mother, saying how Sin Jie is losing weight(that is utter bullshit, everyone knows her cpmplexion turns pink only when she live with us), how she should sleep with me(damn it, there goes my privacy), how bad my mother's dumpling tastes(Hello, my mum's cooking has never been criticised, not even world's greatest cook. To think my mum even offer her.) Then she went on bad mouthing her as if we owed her 1000000000000000 billion dollars. Life is unfair. I don't see this as misunderstanding. This is too much. You are kind and they make use of you. Distant and you are antisocial. Quietand shy and you are arrogant. Never try to please anybody becauise you always end up pissing everyone. Just concentrate on your own happiness. Don't be silly, don't be like me, Don't feed on the happiness of others.
Jacqueline
9:32 AM
