Happy Birthday, mum!
Today is Mum's birthday. So, for once, I will try my best to fit in the mummy's girl image, somthing that I have been neglecting recently. Below shows my checklist to carry out what I promised:
1) No swear words [CHECK, with no difficulty at all
]
2) Compromise even if it means talking to my brother despite our cold war. [
[Not Checked, extremely hard, but will try to if it makes mum happy. ]
3) Smile no matter how I feel. [No prob. Have always, and will do that all the same]
4) Leave all unhappy emotions to tomorrow. [Pending]
5) Help with the household. [Checked.
The above are the 5 things I will hold on for today. So, if you want to borrow money, if you spoil my precious belongings, if you want to borrow my favourite CDs, if you want to say "Jay is MINE", do them today...
Jacqueline
3:14 PM
You are a true nature girl!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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Jacqueline
8:57 PM
Worries
Too many thing are on my mind and it's physically, mentally impossible to get them out of me. To answer Mark Twain's motivational quote :“I’ve seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.", I will only say that the other half that did not come true was probably due to him not worrying enough. Of course, I am not ambassading worries. It's just that worrying helps you to figure things out, sort out the trouble and find remedies to it. Worrying also gets you mentally prepared for what is to happen next. It's not that bad to worry after all. then again, if it gets you on a mental edge, then it's time for you to stop worrying. I have been worried recently. But not anymore. I have figured out the way to escape... Give up thinking, give up worrying. life sucks. I hate it.
Jacqueline
6:59 PM
Jacqueline
11:43 PM
wronged.
What ever in the world gives people the right to judge without any base? How many has been wronged and can do nothing to defend themselves? I am sick of this whole thing. Have I been misunderstood by everyone or was there intention to create the misunderstanding. I am really jaded. I no longer want to explain or protect myself. As I have said, stab all you want and have a great time. Today, there was yet another case of misunderstanding. If people can come up with phrases like "Do not judge a book by its cover", then we should fucking well folow it. I hate this feeling of misinterpretation. With or without intention, the arrow is always pointed at the one that keeps mum about the whole issue. Who gave us the right to judge whether the peson is bimbotic, whether the peron is arrogant, whether the person is god fucking angry? Why are people so skeptical about looks, about nutshells. Since they can't be bothered to look inside you, then we shan't be bothered to explain ourselves.
And since I am in a bad mood, to Emily's ex classmate that is upright and pledged the greatest loyalty to Singapore's law:
Who the hell do you think you are? I bet you must be one of those I mentioned. For God's sake you think that you are still protected by law? Study all you want but just to let you know, brain tumor is something that can cause an ugly death. I suggest you sit outside the police station day and night with the stray cats so that it would be more convenient and time-saving for you to sue the bus driver that exceeded the time limit, the auntie that did not return you the ten cent coin change, sue the grass for being green, sue the policestation for being dirty. This is the worst case I have ever seen and you are the world's most miserable low life. Over notes. get a grip over your jealousy. We don't usually get what we dream day and night. Although you can NEVER be like Emily, you shouldn't try to make an impression by peeing everywhere you walked because that is AGAINST THE LAW. You may get sued too you know, sucker.
Jacqueline
7:15 PM
So, I lost that entry. I have decided to give it another go. here it goes...
I have been feeling shaky lately. Unstable, to be more exact. No, I am not going to lament about how life is, how wrong my choices were because I wasn't left with a choice. Just feeling weird, a little isolated, a little lonely. Like my econs lecturer says,"No job=bored=crime". Not to the extent of doing crime, but just feeling weird. Could be a little fear and some anticipatio as to how the future would be like.
I realised that everytime when I am enjoying my life, I would have this natural tendency to feel shaky. Often, I caught myself wondering how life would be like a few months ago when I was in that deep, dark and damp pit and how life would be if I lost what I possessed currently. That's why I am constantly preaching about 'cherish' and 'peace'.
I still feel weird. I walk on the streets feeling my legs too big for my body, feeling stupid as my arm swing along me. In fact, I stiffened up. Maybe I think too much. Maybe I am a schizo. Maybe this is the pre-symptons of mental illness. I feel abandoned.
Jump, jump from the edge of the world and nobody will put a cushion underneath it. My fault, my fault, my fault. Just tell me, let me know. Forget it. Stab me, just stab me. Yeah, you have already done so. But u can on;y stab, not kill because I am still useful eh?
Jacqueline
12:09 AM
Great, I just lost a long long entry that I wrote to scold and curse. Well done, well done.
Jacqueline
8:37 AM
I am deadbeat. Really tired. First, let me blog my housewife entry Day 2.
1) Woke up at 5.45am (slightly better than yesterday+she hit me with her leg only once as I had done necessary precautions while building a divider between us)
2) Prepared breakfast. (just the beverages, threw them the loaf of plain bread and asked them to apply the desired spread)
3) Wash some dishes. (Left the other half in the sink)
4) Wash the clothes.
5) Bathe
6) Fetch her to school.
7) Drank my tea (To prevent side effect)
8) Read my Harry Potter (My only way to escape.)
9) Went to school for Accounting. (Luckily, Dad fetch!+cannot get some bits of the concepts taught today!)
10) Walked down with Jasline to the bus stop. (As always, enjoyed the talk under the drizzle. (Don't scold me, flo!)
11) Reached home and ate cup noodles while watching crayon Shinchuan's VCD.
12) Hanged out the clothes and took down the dried ones.
13) Took a nap and had the weirdest dream ever.
14) Blog the momment I opened my eyes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later
15) Fetch Sin Jie.
16) Takeaway dinner. (I shall cook tmr, not today)
17) Tidy the Pig sty.
18) Iron the clothes.
19) Fold the clothes.
20) Sweep the floor.
21) Mop the floor.
22) Pepare the worksheet for Zhi Hao's science.
___________________________________________________________________
I am already having a headache. Managed to burn the cd for Flo. A new one. Sign... bey is unwell. I was so tempted to drop down at her place today after school but I have my priorities. Hope she gets well soon, stop shitting from Singapore to plane then to Aust.
Deepest apology to Win for not accompanying Win at her grandpa's funeral. My condolences. Life is like a yo yo. Sometimes it reaches the peak, sometimes it's down at the pit. The greatest irony is that when it reaches its highest, its the time in which you need to get yourself prepared as it is gaining that potential to plunge down to the pit. Maybe that's why I am paranoid and pessimistic most of the time. That explains why I am seldom caught in surprise. Haha.. Flo hates it when I act surprised because most of the time, I just knew it. The yo yo concept came to me when my Accounting lecturer was telling us fluctuations in Actual cost overhead acts like a yo yo. Then my mind started to drift to my concept. She is so clear and patient in explaining, but I just can't get past the monotony. I even thought about how god is playing with our life like she is playing with the yoyo. Everything is in her (I prefer God to be female) hands. But then again, a funny thought came into my mind and I sort of imagine God doing Yo-yo stunts. Had to surpress my giggles and forced myself to concentrate on the lesson.
I am late. Got to fetch her from childcare. Mum Would be back tomorrow night. So, I will be a more responsible housewife tomorrow. Roy thought I was going to faint today when I came out of the library. haha.. now I understand why housewives get old easily. Tsk tsk... spare me.
Jacqueline
5:34 PM
Tribute to all housewives.
Housewife Blog, Day 1(Special edition)
1) Woke up at 4+. Sin Jie kicked me in her sleep thrughout the night. I couldnt sleep sharing the same air in the same room as her.
2) Prepare breakfast for everyone. Check.
3) Wake Sin Jie, ge ge and Juan up. Check. (with much difficulty)
4) Hang clothes, wash clothes. Check.
5) Wash dishes. Check.
6) Fetch Sin Jie to school. Check.
7) Bring the cd I burnt to Florence's place. Check!
8) Market: ingredients for fried rice. Check!
9) Home to prepare the ingredients. Check.
10) Dry the clothes (not done)
11) Tidy up the house. (not done)
12) Iron uniforms for school tmr (not done)
13) Cost Accounting tutorial due tmr (not done)
14) Fold Clothes (not done)
15) Sweep the floor (not done)
16) Tuition at 4.30pm (not done)
17) Fetch Sin Jie from Daycare after tuition. (not done)
18) Cook dinner (not yet)
19) Wash dishes, Empty rubbish bin. (not yet)
20) Blog (get in touch with the outide world, DONE)
Sleep and get my stomach hit by Sin Jie and lose my sleep. check in advnced.
Jacqueline
9:51 AM
Mum is leaving for Penang tomorrow. That automatically makes me the surrogate Mum. Well, in fact, I am quite used to it. Thank goodness, I have Monday and Wednesday off from school. That gives me enough time to prepare dinners, clean up the place, wash the clothings, tidy...
Recently, just a little while before I read Weny's Blog on her encounter, my friend told me about her own ghostly encounter. Ok, I aren't exactly the kind that surrender to my fears but this time I lost. She told me how her friends possess Yin yang eyes, that is, the power to see them. Then she carry on telling me more and more. Perhaps I thought too much, I fell ill. Then came Weny's entry and I really lose it. Yeah, laugh at me. I am chicken hearted. It doesn't help when Leiming comes up with ghostly threats. If you are reading this, spare me. I am becoming a mental case.
Things have not been exactly smooth. But as Jacq, I will overcome it. I am strong.
Jacqueline
10:47 PM
I have been having dizzy spells all day for 2 consecutive days. God knows what's wrong. Been shivering like crazy, but I have no fever. Too many thoughts crossing my mind. Maybe, just maybe...
I have been seeing everything through my tinted glasses. Even as I look into the mirror, I see flaws. I recalled the days whereby I was a child full of wacky ideas. The cranky thoughts that pressurized me to do many unspeakable things behind the facade of a smart and polite girl. The thought is so revolting. But during then, my life was so peaceful. I got everything that i wished for, fantastic grades whiloe playing all day, trust, love..etc. Now that I have turned for the better, my life took a nose dive. Ironies of life, when can I uncover all of them? Why do I want to anyway? Tsk tsk.. there u go again, Jac.
I am feeling unwell. gtg. may tmr and everyday of my life be the day where I...
Jacqueline
7:29 PM
Had a great time yesterday. Flo, our 'swim' was indeed fufilling. Now I am burnt all over. Was forced to tell the story of cherry to that nosey Flo, thanks a lot ah, Yun! Then we went for the sinful Mac and walked back home, probably out of guilt. Rested for a while and off we went, meeting Christina Bey at k box. Need I mention, as usual, she was late for 40minutes. Had a great time singing, taking photos, chatting.. but this time, there were no junk songs because bey wants to get back to the world to listen to the latest hits.
It was during our swimming session when a great idea struck my mind. I shared it with Flo and I practically see evil bubbles bubbling menacingly from the pool. Haha.. our plan was so flawless. But knowing how bad Florence is at when it comes to fooling people, I caught her by surprise and the effect was seamless. Florence, *wink* ready for our next plan? hahaha.. I am no more angel... I am turning into the fallen angel.
Jacqueline
11:15 AM
You have a twisted soul! Twisted Souls are never
bad, and actually, are a rarity amongst souls.
These souls are a little combination of
everything, with always a little of their own
chaos to add. Twisted Souls are kind, loving,
weird, zany, temperamental, and very talented.
They have their own firm opinion, and can at
one time be very outspoken and passionate, and
the other time shy and feeling insignificant.
Twisted Souls have good senses of Humor and
other times can be a bore. You can act quite
intelligent at one time, and grasp concepts
easily, while other times they can find it
difficult to understand. Twisted Souls are
always very fun and Kind, and can be party
animals. But, if you love someone, youre
serious about it, intense, and forever loyal.
Congratulations-the world should have more like
you.
What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures! brought to you by Quizilla
Great...first sexy, now twisted. HELP ME!
Jacqueline
11:47 PM
Could be me being atychiphobic, could be me and my weird logics... Maybe I should give people a chance, to give myself a chance too. I feel so irritated lately. Every slight thing irritates the hell out of me. I am usually the peaceful kind, and it's not the monthly due. What is wrong with me?
I had a great time with my SJAB friends. We were recalling about our SJAB days, standard and advance NCO courses, laughing at watermelon sabotage, guys with big butts and tight pants, fainting mates and.. yeah.. cherries. I am not going to elaborate. But the gathering was to look back. In the past, we look forward to activities, anticipation and a little fear. Now, we are looking back with a smile and a whole load of jokes. Could still remember all aspects of it, crushes, canoeing, sun, punishments, laughter, water tank, BK...the memories just whizzed without stopping. They bring a smile on my lips. I feel more peaceful now.
We talked about our future, marriage, ideals...Thinking back, the talk came so naturally. Now, it seems a bit scary. Future... so far yet we are moving forward, each day being our past perception of Future. shivers... Maybe It's time for me to look shallower before I drown in my own thoughs...
Jacqueline
10:28 PM
I need long termed saving plan before I go broke. Went out with Yun and Ru yesterday. Many thoughts coming at me from all different directions.Jac is getting schizophrenic again. Which Jac are you reading about today? I need a break. Life is moving at a pace that is way too fast. The life of Aries doesn't allow me to rest. Ya, but I am happy with it nevertheless.
"Bey is back singing party"
Attention!
Wednesday, 14th July,
k box,
Absentees, report to Jacq for further information on your punishments.
Going to farrer park to bowl with my uni kakis. Life is certainly moving at a fast pace. Come tmr and it's 'cia's turn to experience a new life in Australia. Would be sending her off at the airport. One less anti religion mate. Maybe it's time for me to move on too...
Have you ever tried a quiz a dozen times because you are not satisfied with the results? I have. For this quiz alone I tried few times and the same result kept shooting back at me no matter how I change my answers to questions that I have alternatives answers. i gave up. Here it goes:
You are hot, no matter what you
do. There are not much people like you.
Beautiful from inside and outside. The opposite
sex feels pleased with you . They treat you
like a god/goddess. The other ones are jealous
of you because they try to be sexy and
attractive but you are it. Maybe youre a bit
arrogant, or you seem . And some think that
they should better not even try to get a date
with you because your sex appeal scares them.
Sometimes it even nerves you the way they are
running after you.
. You need change-Sometimes you like shy and
sometimes you like extrovert.
~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~ brought to you by Quizilla
My reactions.
Treats me like god and goddess when I correctly predict the future. True. I have NO sex appeal, dumb dumb. Yes, I look arrogant, that's one my friends say. scares them? Let me repeat, I have no sex appeal. Siyun, don't tag me about the cherry incident please. Public blog, my reputation at stake. Final conclusion: This quiz is not accurate. Why do I put it up? I don't know the truth either.
Jacqueline
10:44 AM
| Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan! |
 You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind! |
What is your Icecream Flavour?
Find out at
Go Quiz
Jacqueline
9:00 AM
School officially started on Monday but yesterday was my first lesson. Wham! Accountng. But it was'nt that bad as they are understandable, being more theory based. Financial Accounting should never be made into a subject in the first place. It makes a sane person senile and probably a senile person sane. She looks fierce but she is alright. Her voice reminded me of that eqipment we used to measure velocity, Ticker Tape Timer. Monotonous. But the dots were round and clear. She could really explain herself well and I love the fact that she did the tutorials with us. Hopefully my concepts of Account will change.
I was on the way back to school and along the road, many physically and mentally adults boarded at different stops. I was taken aback at the alarming rate of people with Down syndrome as they boarded from different stops, some in uniform, others in plain clothes holding on to their mother. In fact, one third of the passengers on board were them. My heart really went out to them. I wanted to get past them, to know what they are thinking behind the empty looks they carried on their face. I wish to tell them everything is alright but I doubt they know what is wrong. Their life is so empty and I wish to fill them up with colours, to make their life a little more meaningful. I feel so helpless when I see them. Perhaps they are happier than most of us being less aware of the society in which we are in. But there is still so much to explore. love, marriage, children... and there are times they couldn't even understand what they are scolded for. Things are taken at their face value and in a way, it seems unfair to them because we owe them loads of explainations that can never be understood.
They remind me of my days in college. That was the only better days when together with Chicken pox monster, we visited MINDS, St Joseph Home, Red Cross Home every Wednesday as interact club members. I played with them, together with Yilin, acted like them. If we weren't wearing school uniform, we could have blended in with them. We played soccer and that was a wonderful time. The only thought on my mind was to laugh, to let them score. Their happiness meant the world to me. For the whole 4 hours or so, I was invited into their little world filled with happiness and laughter. I could still remember the first day when I chose my CCA in college. My mind was set on ODAC and Softball but at the end of the day, I was surprised at myself for choosing Interact Club. My impression of Interact club in sec school were not exactly great as I could only see them playing out dedications on V day. Being the outdoor type, it did seemed a little toned down CCA to begin my college life with. But Chicken pox Mon and I agreed that after our high profile days in sec school, we should lie low and enjoy life in another sort of way. I wanted to experience world and there it was. Therefore the interact club. I didn't know how big the impact it would be on us. It makes me appreciate the young, the aged, and the handicapped more. My cousin, Benny seems to be having a conversation with me although he could mumble only a few words at the age of 7. Chicken pox Monster, on the other hand, would graduate in 2 years time to be a professional social worker. Me, I always thought I would be the one, but well... dreams failed me or rather I failed my dreams. I don't hold any stake for the future. Anything can happen. Perhaps, like MINDS, I will open a school for them, making Yilin as my assistant and Flo and Yun as the professional teachers...
Jacqueline
8:37 AM
Smile and the world smile with you, cry and you cry alone.
The meetup with Florence was filled with laughter, not mine, hers. We had a great time pigging out and one of the conversations at Haagen Daz brought me back to the days when I was teaching in WSS. It was one of my turning point in life. I got to know the complex world a little better. If I had made it, perhaps I would have a better idea on what to anticipate of my future. But then again, a little suspense in life is sometimes a major consolation. Life is not a life when you know what is going to happen next. It's ironic. For a person with very accurate intuitive, the surprise in getting caught in a surprise is twice that of a normal person.
Not feeling too good. Cheryl has left for Aust. First Chris, for US, then Bey, then Sir Charlie, next Cheryl, then 'Cia and I am still here. I want to experience life while I am young. I want to try everything. I don't want to be stuck here forever. Fly me to the moon...
Yiting is in hospital. The thought of a little girl lying in a big bed in that cold room that smells of antiseptic and chlorine is vital enough to kill me. I don't want to see sufferings.
Set me free, fly me to the moon.
Jacqueline
11:56 AM
