Tuesday, May 11, 2004


still the same old fear
'' I can make it through the rain. I can stand up once again. On my own and I know tat I'm strong enough to mend. And everytime I feel afraid, I hold tight to my fate. And I live one more day. And I make it through the rain. '' ~ Mariah Carey ~

What can fear make a person do? Scream, cry, hide, hurt another person, act aggressive... there are so many threats in life but what can be more potent than fear? The fear of falling in love again,fear of failure, the fear to lose someone, the fear of fear itself. The one that threatens me most is the fear of failure. Filure encompassess many things. The failure in love, the failure in achieving goals, the failure as a leader ..etc. I used to, and still, perceive failure as the deadend in a journey. Not stumbling blocks, DEADENDs. It is immensely hard to start afresh no matter how hard you try. Perhaps I am born lazy, I simply hate the feeling of re-doing things. Like when I was in Primary school, I hate the fact that corrections help you to learn you mistakes. I tried to be exceptional, memorising the answers but no matter how I memorise, it never beats the notion that re writing them down proves to be more effective. And I really hate that. Because of my resistence, I always ended up doing twice the work. Since then, I always believe in going by the way.. I became less idealistic, more laid back. I thought I could change the world from all the conventional thinkings. I was wrong. You have to move along, once you start on the rat race, you have to follow blindly what others set for you. By the time you reach the finishing line, the cheese would have rotted. You probably wouldn't get a nibble of the rotten cheese. Everything in our life is a lose lose situation. So we can't really blame it on failures. Maybe I should blame losers..Or maybe I should blame blame? ...


Jacqueline
8:11 AM






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