Why????
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. ~Robert Frost
That's us.. that is what the Ministy of Education is doing to us.. poor kids. We are like the products in the factories. Can't help remembering Charles Dickens critics in Hard Times. How perceptive can a person be? Look at the principle of Nan Chiau Sec.. a studen't fault and a principle is blamed in the process. A small action that results in the loss of the principle's job, dreams, self-esteem and effort. How many of us have done that to others? What is worst than having lost dreams and no goals? Why must they push us to the brink of the cliff until we have only a choice but to jump? Why? Jeez.. I am all confused and messed up. My life is messed up. There are so many questions bubbling..boiling.. Where can I find release? I need my punchbag..
Jacqueline
12:38 PM
scornful life
Currently listening to: Jay's creation: Shi Jie Mo Ri 
There is no such thing as the perfect ending in this wrold. The Good will not get what they deserve, they suffer. I f you think that you will get a luxurious treatment in your next life, then you are wrong. Come next life you probabaly wouldn't know this theory or it doesn't even matter anymore. We are all shaped by the environment. No matter what we are deep down, no matter how we try to search for our own identity, it is useless. Even if we find out who we really are, can we accept our findings? Can we come to terms with it? Can we even reveal it? What if it is not what we thought, what we dream of, what the society approves, what the current environment requires? Yes, then you will be an outcast. You will leave in utter misery. We are all forced to conform, whether we like it or not. Conform or suffer. It's a take it or leave it attitude. What democracy, freedom, these are all cover-ups to show others that we there is a balance in everything in this universe. utter bullshit! Does anybody care for you if you are not at all related? The fact is no one really bothers. Look at our Nicolle Hero who saved 7 to 8 people. What happens? He was the only one whose body is unfound. Will there ever be perfect ending?
Flash: overhead, position performance.. I can't see... Flash: leaders, theories, 360 degree, teams, Flash.. too fast.. communication, motivation..slow down.. Tick Tock Tick Tock... 5 more mins.. blank, blank blank... NN NN NN NN...Hahaha.. Well done Jacq, you are the champion.. you owe the world. Previous life.. haha.. utter bullshit..
Jacqueline
11:05 AM
danger everywhere..
I think I am born with a cursed perception of things. Everything I think of will happen. Like how I thought that this guy like my friend despite their 'sibling' relationship. Even the guy was not aware. And me getting a vision of that child falling down and she fell. Then i dreamt that a particular thing will happen it happens. Most of the time they are minor. I used to taste otah in my mouth and I went home seeing otahs that Dad bought. All I need is to think of what I have not seen or play or experience for a long time and..WHAM! it happens. Is my subconscious mind alert or is that hereditary? (Dad has it too!)
Yesterday I was in computer lab slogging my BC assignment (btw, gd bye BC!) when I started to criticise MOE and LTA with Jasline and Michelle.
We were scolding LTA for different reasons. Jasline, because of the unnecessary built bolders that says "Teck Whye Gardens" in front of carparks, and me because of the accident that occured on 6th April outside my school. Then we cursed them for building an overhead bridge that doesn't link directly to our school. Our final conclusion was that the in-charge in MOE and LTA are just a bunch of old folks who suck up to each other.
I think I overcursed. Because with that discussion, the Nicolle Highway practically collapsed. Are the news getting more depressing or are we getting aware of the news only at this age? Such heart rendering news of lost and death. i was just highlighting the death and sad news we see and then.. WHAM.. more death. How do we get through all those... Life is so sad. Cherish everyday you have, spend all the money u want... u never know what will happen tmr.
Jacqueline
8:19 AM
Media
I am still on the NKF thing. Sorry people, I just can't let it go. For those members of the newspaper-reading haters, welcome me. I am going to join in. Days pass and the news get increasingly depressing. One momment, it's suicides, then murders and accidents. Death, voluntary or involuntary, greets us in the face every morning. After deaths come the insults from other countries, frauds, investments... So much for peace. I was reading the forum of ST yesteday and read an article about a contracter, an avid supporter of NKF, refused to donate a single cent, after an incident. He was told to built a glass paneled shower, a German toilet bowl and a gold plated tap. Listen, a GOLD plated one, in the 21 million building of the chief executive of the NKF!!! The NKF PR told the ST that since the papers are not going to disclose the identity of the contractor, "it is difficult for us to give answers to enlighten your readers". 'enlighten', such sacarsm and arrogance. I have a feeling that things are not as simple as they seem to be. After catching a few Taiwan shows, I don't really know if Singapore is really safe. Hidden knives are much more dangerous than the shown ones. What is a world when charity organisation is not a charity organisation, news reporters not reporting accurate news, every damn media station are authorised. Then what really is the point of watching the news and 'real life stories'? What is truth? Who do we believe? What is expected of us? Where do I find all these answers? Should I seek them out? Wass up Singapore?
PS: BC project. You silly database! Get into that damn pigeonhole. i am never gonna see you again! After today, we sever our ties. I don't care what grade I get. Just in you go. Byeeeee!!!
Jacqueline
9:29 AM
!!!!!
Pissed. I am so damn pissed. With all the Business Computing stuff. I can't do them at all. How am I going to the exams? And in less than a week. And there are other subjects I have to handle. Cursed Accountings. Wonder which moronic bastard invented that caveman subject. Argh! I am in deep shit. I must finish the damn BC by today, maybe tmr evening or i will never get past this stage.
Pissed at NKF. Last week I donated 6 calls. Fine, I did that unintentionally cos they put the 5calls in front and I accidentally called that. Then I sent an sms thinking that I donated 1 call. Ok, fine, my problem/ I am just pissed that they used such dangerous method to make us donate. I will call that, playing on our sympathy. What is the point. Many of us called for the patients, not for the artiste. the stunts are really getting out of hand. It's either they are playing with pur sympathy or they are fooling us with the antics. If it's the first, do they wish for us to call donate for the handicapped in the future, saying how poor they are because they performed for charity and became handicapped? Nuts. My anger was even fueled when the NKF sent me a message that reads something like this: Want to see how I escape the sharp knives.... Hello! you think we are at the circus? It's either you think we are foolish softhearted mush or that we are perverts, enjoying every single momment of your danger. If what the aunties at the market said were true, that every call we called during the show when the artiste perform, he/she will take a certain % out of the amount we donated, then that is it. I will bring down by donation all the way to the NKF centre. Although I don't have a good impression of Sun Ho, but I don't wish to see darts hitting her or any bloodshed. Are we really that hungry for blood such that we donate only when we see blood? If they carry that kind of thought, How about using a spear next time. Nuts. That alone is the biggest insult to all that called to donate. Do we really want the cars and cash when we call? I didn't catch the show yesterday. Was determined not to catch it, mainly because Dad brought the whole family out to hotel for Japanese buffet.
The food were so good, there was ice-cream and the desserts... I thought I was in heaven. and the sashimi...they even have Tepanyaki and ramen, Buffet... I didn't want to get out but..well dad sort of drag me out. Why, why no one believe that I could still carry on?? I can.. I really can.. Don't take me home.. I don't want exams, no computers... I want FOOD!
Jacqueline
8:37 AM
Today..
Went to JP today. Have always love the place cos it carries way too much memories. Time in JJ whereby we chill out, brunch, loiter there. Then again, things are getting so commercialised. The impression of Jurong point is so bleah: Jurong point xi you ji! Jeez~
Oh, by the way I got my mum a Diamond pendant and a white gold necklace. Cost me a bomb! But Mum deserves it! I am such a failure daughter, so have to make up to her. Got my brother a Billabong wallet for his birthday and 2 butterfly crystal
hair pin for my aunt for mother's day. Afterall, she gave me another Christian Dior perfume from America's airport. Smells so heavenly.. Spent a lot. Guess it's time to save.
Bought Sin Jie a KFC meal and she was sooooo happy. I think it's time to make up to people. They deserve better things than having a failure hanging around them. Exams are coming again. Will i pull through or am I going to flop again? What is in store for me? What do I deserve? Is the world ever fair to me?
Jacqueline
10:24 PM
Quiz
Which toe are you?
Try this people, that is if you think what they say is close to the truth..
Jacqueline
7:34 AM
China, India???
"Singapore wants to encourage more tourists from China to visit. To do so, the Singapore Tourism Board plans to deepen and strengthen the preception of Singapore as a holiday destination "beyond being known as a nice place". The STB will launch its "Uniquely Singapore" marketing blitz in Beijing next week. I hopes to attract 770 000chinese..."
That's it, we are doomed. Singapore is too much a weakling. Yes, I know that China Market is booming, but there is no call for launching campaigns to attract them or suck up to them. It's not like I am unhappy being a Singaporean but I am losing faith in the government. Giving in and sucking up to the Chinese means that we are going to let them critise or being wrongly accused of things we are innocent of. The worse part is to take their words kindly as if we are guilty of doing those stuff!
Instead of bootlicking them, why don't we focus on something that benefits us, like learning Chinese. Now that Chinese is no longer a requirement to enter university, what does that make of us? I can't stress more on how languages are important to us. Speaking Singlish is already enough for misinterpretation, now many of the next generation are going to have problem with Mandarain too! Great! Then we shall use the international sign language to communicate in future.
I have always admired the way my parents communicate in Malay with neighbours and wish that we can learn more. (Thank God I did Malay.) Even dialects! But look at what the government is doing to our mother tongue..
Right now, India is booming too. So does it mean that fellow Indians need not learn their native language but launch more programmes to attract them to Singapore. Well done, then the whole Singapore will be packed with Chinese and Indians. Jeez~ And Singapore would smell wonderful... 770 000 chinese and probably 880 000 indians,
well done Singapore...
Jacqueline
1:50 PM
Look around..
I love observing people (without them knowing of course!) and I love to keep my findings a secret so that I can surprise them on their birthdays and pamper them all day. (Fine, but don't you start hinting 'unknowingly' and spoil my excitement of observing. eh, leng? =) Perhaps it's my extreme love for all humans, my friends will never attempt those things. I am often deemed as eccentric but guess that is what that defines mt thoughts. Here is one of my findings(correct me if I am wrong):
Ideal boyfriend/husbands.
Wee Leng:
-Looks matter
-Romantic
-Must be the first to show interest in her.
-Must pamper her.
-Car! (optional)
-Humorous
-completely idolise her.
Christina:
-Looks matters (not too much since her definitio of suave is...
-accept her for who she is.
-treats her well.
-truthful
-need not be rich
-Christian (optional)
-Able to share heart problems
-comforting
Siyun:
-looks doesn't matter (she doesn't mind handsome ones)
-able to provide comfort
-accept her for who she is
-need not not be rich but must be fillial to both parents.
-truthful
-makes her happy
-sweet
-humorous, act crazy with her.
Florence:
-looks matter. (no.1 criteria! sees the looks first and find out nice characters)
-romantic
-smart
-charming
-VOICE! deep voice.
-accept her for who she is
-unattached!
Yilin:
-looks matters, but only to a certain extent. (must be easy on the eye, otherwise ganna slapped by her!)
-must be rich and prospective
-able to provide security
-must have leadership (no weaklings allowed!)
-must be romantic
-sincere
-funny.. so that they can act silly together.
-must treat her parents well.
-impt!!! must not be younger or same age.
Yiru:
-looks matter but like bey, her taste in guys are..erm..unique
-need not be rich but it's a bonus..
-must give her security
-must treat her family well.
-must not be a weakling
-must be supportive and understanding
-must be understanding
-humorous
-able to cheer her up and comfort her when she is down.
Above are only the few. If I were to write down all.. we will still go back to the point whereby there is nobody perfect in the world.. blah blah.. But then again, those above are only my assumptions..
Jacqueline
4:01 PM
Arrogance.
To The China Student Who Said That Singaporeans Consume The Food Taken By PiGs and insulted our ancestors brainless and Rowdy:
What is your problem? Don't you have any sense of shame? You are taking our scholarship. If you are really oh-so-mighty, why don't you get lost? Go back to your China. You think we need more people from your kind to study here and fight for what supposedly is OUR university place? Even the China construction workers show the teachings of Chinese better than you do. You think you are so smart, go, move your white ass to England, go to Harvard. Oh, of course you can't qualify because there is a language problem isn't it? If that is the case you better keep your fart mouth shut. Let me tell you this, China has yet to be developed and you are already so proud. Who do you think you are? Move, move on to other countries and you are just a little peice of shit. If we share pig's food, it's better than you, eating unborn innocent foetus or adding rats meat into buns or even human flesh. The only reason for your IQ is sucking mokey brains and eating snakes' penis or buffalo's penis. Using animals to gain intelligence is a disgrace to universe. You suck. Move your ass out of here. Fuck off. And just want to let you know, if you think a single apology is going to melt the hearts of millions of us here, get this from me," you yellow tongue twirling Frankestein who smells as great as the rats you ate, go to hell moronic bastard." btw, sry.
Jacqueline
8:12 AM
Love?
My perception of Love
Love needs no validation.
Love has no time boundary.
Love is never found at first sight.
Love can be developed.
Love cannot be shared.
Love include acceptance.
Love makes u change for the better.
Love has the ability to resurrect, the ability to kill.
Love forces you to make decision.
Love comes from the heart, not the brain.
Love can be misleading.
Love is the purest, highest form of emotion.
Love has nothing to do with Lust. (that's juz men's excuses for being horny)
Love survives on laughter, respect, care n share.
Love should not be linked to Expectation.
Love is the willingness to do anything and everything despite obstacles.
Love is an inner strength that cannot be kept too long in your body. ( share, or u will burn your organs)
Love is not for sale. ( You get it only as deserved)
Love cannot be easily separated by external factors.
Love builds as time passes.
Love is blind but after experiencing it for a long time you should become familiar with some particular spots.
Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty.
The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones
Love is blind and it will take over your mind.
To love you must be willing to let go, to let go you must be willing to love.
Love is everything ... it's life itself, neverending, unconditional and never the same.
Love is a pit in which one willingly jumps in without safety precautions.
Love is the most important treasure for which we're here, living.
Jacqueline
10:31 AM
Sinful me..
Argh... i hate myself. So much for exercising. I went to Erawan Thai restaurant at Novena Square and ate till my tummy almost bursts. Mum is paying so I guessed it's okay to eat. The food is soooooo yumilicious that I swear I could have all my meals there if they are free. we had 2 different kinds of Tom Yum soup, the fire noodles, the fish laksa, olive fried rice, salted fish fried rice and the amazingly taste buds resurecting green curry. We had 2 big glassess of ice-blended green apple. Somebody drag me out!!! what a dreadful sin.. I was so full that I couldn't take the dessert. We took the train back and there was a disgusting old Indian man. He kept looking at my mother and her friend and kept smiling. I was about to ask him what the hell he was looking at when he got down the bus. Geez~ Lucky old man.
When I reached home, my cousin called and I went down to meet him. He gave me a $250 Best Denki voucher. Told me that he wanted to buy me a phone but was afraid that I have already changed mine. AHHHHHH!!! I HAVE NOT!!! But then again, it was nice of him to specially deliver it over. We chatted for quite long about ah ma selling her terrace, what to anticipate during new year. Sign.. and he told me his dreams. Ohh.. Going to buy me a house. Boo hoo Jing yi, I am the favourite cousin. You get A A B for A's good lah. pls don't ever compare with me. Even if you get into NUS Nigel will not acknowledge you. Ooops..That was what he told me. Errr... showing my evil side... That's sinful. But so is every human being..
Jacqueline
7:10 PM
Today, 8th of April, is STILL my birthday.
For those who know me real well, you should recall that I was born at 0000. In layman's term, 12 midnight. I always hold on to the belief that it is few seconds after 12 midnight but they rounded it off. Nevertheless, isn't it better that way, I have 2 birthdays! So..erm.. presents are still acceptable. haha.. My cousin is meeting me today. Eh..Carina?
I guess our birth time really explains what kind of personality we have. I was asking my friends to guess my birth time and they gave me their answers and verification. "You always wake up so early in the morning, you must be born around 7am" Being born at 12am makes me a "neither-here-nor-there" person. Neither friendly nor hostile, neither stupid nor smart... In fact thinking about it, I am really like that. Neither English nor Chinese, most of the time helping Yun and 'Cia to translate. Never the significant one, yet significant in showing the significance of the significant.
I woke up early (as usual) to check out the new sports few blocks away. It is soooo interesting. The equipment are more interesting than those at the gym and they are Free! While I was doing one of the tough ones, I witnessed this Malay lady falling into the drain, She gave a whelp and her Roti Prata gravy went in different directions. So many people were looking but nobody went forward. I went over and dear me.. her toe was bleeding so much. I asked her if she has a bottle of water and she said no. Helped her up and supported her to the seat below the void deck. Poor leg. She told me that she is always falling down.. ( sorry but that reminded me of Flo. Ooops!) just last month she sprained her right ankle because she fell and it took her 1 full month to recuperate and she fell again. She was just ready to get into some workout after a month, checking out the sports station and she fell. Poor thing. Now she sprained her left one. I walked her home. Poor lady, hope she gets well soon.
Last night Dad bought losta well known food!!! Otahs... super nice. And 2 packets of Fried Kway Teows with cockles, all wrapped in opel leaves that can keep the food warm for 8 hours! then there was fried bananas and durian puffs. The durian is so rich and tasty.. so creamy... Gosh.. And I had a special crepe wrapping but the rich creamy durian. He must have spent a lot. Had so much fun eating!!! That explains why I was at the sports corner. hee.. But then again, didn't really get to exercise much because I brought the lady home and went home. Aiyah.. should have spoken Malay to her. Hungry.. going to take my breakfast.. Yummy breakfast prepared by Mum. I feel so loved!
*Ps: Yun, would it be alright for us to meet a little while for a movie? I will be free on Sunday. If you can make it tag me k? It would be good if it's in the late afternoon. Will Ru be free? Let me know. If it's difficult then it's ok. we still have the Post exam fun awaiting.
*Ps: Special thanks to my 2 loving brothers and my cousin and my ah yi and Xinni.. AHHHhhhhHh... I Love U ppl!!!!
Jacqueline
8:28 AM
My birthday officially started last Sunday. The Dunearn clique (mostly born around the same time) celebrated our birthdays together. We went Sakae for lunch and the meal was so fufilling. Thanks Flo, for the cap and the CK one perfume. Really appreciated it. thanks Bey, for the letter, the earrings. The earrings are so amazingly beautiful. Suits more to people of my age eh, kid?
Thanks Win, for the necklace. Thanks for the day. And thank you Lin, for giving me such a wonderful present. We had a $10 pact and you got me something that suits me to a T. Thankks pals, for understanding me so well.
Special thank to my long time best friend. Wow..I have already received more than 10 birthday prezzies from you. Thanks for always remembering my birthday and sending them to my home personally. Really appreciate this friendship. Thanks Feng Long for the candle too. That's neat.
Thanks Rena lao da, for organising the birthday celebration with the rest for me. Thanks for the adidas deodrant and the treat at Yuki Yaki! I had so much fun, so much laughter. We are a crazy lot eh? Didn't quite expect Belinda and Michelle to turn up. Their appearance were the best gift of the day because our bonds are tightened. Thanks for the funky neoprints you guys took with me, the candid shots from the digicam, and of course the frying ice-cream part. Amazing. We totally lost control of our yi2 tai4 behaved like drunkards. All the flirting and mate calling (foxes' style). This gang is of the same standard as the Dunearn gang and the Sjab gang.
I guess all my unluckiness in life is made up by my luck in meeting the right people and having a supportive family. Like what Daddy says, everything has an opposing reaction. Any bad thing is countered by something posisitive of equal magnitude. My high expectation of myself and my failure in achieving what I have challenged resulted in depression. but my friends, with all their strength combined with my loving family pushed the deppression to the back of my mind. Thanks Pals, for offering me advices and lending me the essays. Truly touched~ And thanks all, for the support given. For once, because of the wonderful people I meet, I am satisfied leading a cursed life.
Jacqueline
9:15 AM
Have you ever caught a whiff of something and thought of a particular part of your life that has become part of your memory? It always happen to me. Scents are actually powerful trigger of your mind. It brings you back to your memories, some sweet, some bitter and some you choose to keep them hidden in a vault. Below are some of the smells that my brain associate with:
- Shokubutsu Anti-Bacterial: Brought me to the time when I was in Sec 4. Mum was working in a confectionary in Jurong East and I used to visit her after SJAB activity. We were using that shower foam back then. Could remember how I used to take care of the household chores when my mum worked, and how I hit a crab that escape from the fridge till its pincers dropped. I am sorry crab. I really didn't mean it. you shouln't have moved towards me after you dislocated a pincer. Then I would have let you die with a full body. At least I abstained from crabs for a year. The smell brings the feeling of a peaceful and simple life, everybody doing their part to contribute to the family.
-Shokubutsu Orange pill: It came out after anti bac and when I first used it, I was in J1. It was after the very tedious PE lesson in JJ and I was trying to bathe at a fast speed so that others will not be late for the next class. The smell didn't leave a good impression perhaps because it reminds me the cold water splashing on my sweaty and hot body.
-smell of a newly-built building, of wet cement: reminds me the time when I was preparing for A's with yilin, Pam and the rest in SAJC. There was a separate building and there was these people from church coming down to give us free tuitions. I hated the smell because back then I was in between the decision of going into Christianity and Mum wasn't too happy. Then a lot of unhappiness ensued because of all forms of pressure. Eventually I left the place. I hate the smell.
-Lavendar: It reminds me of the show 'lavendar'. I watched that show shortly after O's with Yilin and Zhao Ting and some others whom I cannot reacall. We were in this Singapore Poly programme and I could still remember Zhao Ting's ultra smooth rebonded hair. During then it was still not as popular. Haha... The smell of lavendar also reminds me of Paul Chow, my lit P4 teacher There was once he had a flu and he brought this lavendar oil into our class. He said that lavendar helps to cure flu and relieves our pressure. The next day, I (extremely immune to flus) caught the flu. And so does Florence, the perpectual flu victim.
-Elizabeth Arden: It reminds me of the many blissful nights whereby I stayed overnight at 'cia's place. Siyun, Yiru, me and 'cia chatted and played with tag tag. The many jokes we had, their sleeping pattern, Yiru's snores... Yun's mumbles... Actually during then we bathed in her bath tub using her Elizabeth Arden shampoo. Was so addicted to the scent that it took me very long to stop bathing. Hee~
Of course, there are more scents but it will take ages to write all of them down. Had a stressed day. I don't seem to know what to write for my essay. I am losing my confidence again. History is repeating itself. Is this another birthday present? ... noooooooo! Spare me...
Jacqueline
7:44 PM
^^MY BIRTHDAYS^^
Every year come birthdays, people anticipate what they would get, their presents, what they would wear. For me, every year come my birhtday, I think of what unlucky things will befall on me. Eversince I was in Primary One, my birthdays were plagued with misfortunes.
When I was 7, I had mumps.
On my 8th birthday, I fell down the chair. (Imagine the humiliation of a P2 thickskinned and quiet gal at the back of a class. Bang!)
On my 9th birthday, it was the 1st week of my chicken pox.
On my 10th birthday, Mum gave me a $10 note and I received a nice Bobdog wallet! I brought it to school. On that same day, a girl in my class reported to our form teacher that I had stolen her ten dollar note. I refused to admit and cried for hours. Then, they found her note in the field under the bench. (watch out! I can still remember your name: Zhang Hui Shan. Nobody likes you. Say me fat! You are Fat as well! Bleah!)
Sorry~went a little out of control.
On my 11th birthday, I had a tiff with my clique. We were arguing about Chen Han Wei cos I said that he sucks. The whole clique was offended. Well~ kids..
On my 12th brithday, I had a cold war with my cousin. But everything was resolved when I got the mickey and minnie photo frame.
On my 13th birthday, I got a titanic organiser from my cousin. That was the last present from her, the last I wil get from her in my life. I also got a big big looney tunes cup from my clique. But on that day, I flunked my history test.
On my 14th birthday, nothing happened. It was the most quiet birthday, the most lonely one too. But thinking back, by far, it was the most blessed one.
On my 15th birthday, I received a discman from my cousin. A different cousin. I should be happy...a discman! not the bulky kind. But then again... we all know the reason for the present. He was giving on behalf of his sister...
On my 16th birthday, the SJAB gang celebrated for me! it was sweet because they TRIED to make it a surprise. But surprising me was hard. It was fun because my juniors were also celebrating together with me. My Jing Ying Bu Dui.
On my 17th birthday, my Jing Ying Bu Dui lost a member. I had no celebrations because birthday cakes left a huge impact on me. Nothing can ever be compared to a very pure birthday celebration given to u to make u happy, not to give you loads of present so that your birthdays will be over and done with. Anyway, I was so stressed up that I forgot my birthday that year. The 1st time I forgot my birthday.
On my 18th birhday, I received lotsa presents. Very beautifully wrapped by Yilin. And (though less wrapped) Florence. Pam msg cos she remembered. Then my cousin's $200 Taka voucher. It was a very materialistic one.
On my 19th birthday, there was a 2nd attempt to surprise me. Yilin bought a large Swensen ice-cream cake to my place. I was happy, my first ice-cream cake! But she failed at the surprising part. Haha.. sweet memories. only 2 of us sang the birthday song. Nig bought me a Panasonic MP3 Cd player with a flat speaker. Jia en and Xueli got me wallet. Flo got me wallet. Bey sent a wallet from Aust. I wasn't feeling gd despite all the wishes. In fact that was the worse year in my life. I did badly for A's.
On my 20th birthday, I only wish for peace, peace in me and peace around me. I want to be quiet, to embrace the souls of frends, families and well wishers. I only want a birthday that is not special. For once, unlike others, I wish for a plain day. But guess what, I failed my OB essay and had to re submit it. The deadline is on my birthday.
God or Satan is getting creative in planning my birthdays as year goes by after another. When will my life of unhappy birthdays end. When my life ends? I only wish for a normal day...
Where do I go?
Jacqueline
7:50 AM
