If death could solve all the problems in the world, I would gladly die. But chances are, many people wouldn't even care less. They will tear, sob a little, wiped away theirs tears, comment on how great you have been, sob uncontrollably, burts into tears and forget you in few years time. Have been crying till my heart and eyes hurt so much that I couldn't fall asleep. When I sleep, my feelings betrayed me again. I sleep walked. this is worse than what I have been through not long ago. I feel blood when I cry, I feel like I am punched in my socket, in my lungs, air is escaping, I am left empty, empty and empty.
Why is it that things and beliefs that I have held firmly to always disappoint me?
Why am I so perceptive in looking at others situation but not mine?
Why do I always forgive so readily?
Why am I always the one feeling guilty?
Why am I the one always absorbing all harm and pain?
Are all the things I did worthwhile?
Why bother?
Why the instinct to protect and get myself hurt?
Why the need to please others?
Why are my pleasure and happiness derive from others happiness and pleasure?
Why am I always the one singled out by God to torture?
Why do I feel so much pain?
Why the failure in the seemingly flawless situation?
(Why, Why, Why)^infinity
I feel like Louisa in Charles Dickens Hard Times. I really really really feel like her. Cheated by everyone all my life. I can totally
relate to her. No wonder Hard Times was always my strength. Now I know why. but fret not, unlike Louisa, I will take things my way.
I would be going Gentings. So long friends. Need time to cool down. Too bad is Gentings, I will try to see what I can bring back for you ppl but I don't think there will be anything I can buy. Hotel toothpaste anyone fancy?
Jacqueline
8:16 AM
