After so many years of isolation, I have finally found back the initial interest I had for SJAB. Perhaps I am much more mature now, perhaps things are much more clearer to me. The fact that many of us drifted away was simply due to the extremely rigid rules that we have to bear. When we are more "on" than usual, they would suspect that we wish to take over. Many a times, they failed to understand that what really made us head over heels was the friendship that bonded us together. Even when we had Games day or campfire, we were the ones who made ourselves enjoy. They had Games Day because they wanted to seem democratic. It is no wonder that there were so many talks and excitment with topics on NCO courses and National Day rehersal and no one loved talking about water parade or the dunearn camp.There were many times (much as I hate to admit) I admired other corps. Their lives seemed so much happier. The way they speak to officers, the way they respond to challenges, so so so carefree. We, Dunearn corp, we have to do everything with respect and integrity. Not that it doing those stuff were bad, but we simply cannot enjoy much. Every momment, every second you have to watch your words and actions. If you are careless just for a second, that's it. You will get shouted at before you know what you had done was wrong. Like how they unknowingly..hahaha.. danced in front of a car while looking at their own reflection..haha.. They were not even dancing except for Cat, they were just shaking their butts and amused by the short, bulky reflection they see in the car(Could imagine how bored our lives were). Just that, that alone resulted in us getting shouted, leaving us with no integrity. But still, we were so foolishly loyal... We did not bear any grudges even though we were often accused to. There were so many times I wished to break the rules, change it to a more flexible one... and there were so many times I got disappointed by those above. Our batch was one of the most impressing ones. Guess they feel threatened. But it was the turning point in DSS sjab. We were hurt by the goodwills we bore for Sjab.. to the extent that all wishes to be attached to Dunearn after we attended OCS were vanished. The need, the desire to face more challenges were gone. Nobody from our batch ever attended it. There were so many unfufiled hopes, wishes and dreams... they all went down with the friendship we had with some of the seniors and sometimes it pains me, it still does, to know that what used to build up a circle with strong relationships ended up with the chain broken and rusty.
Thank God, for many of the friends in SJAB who have polished and tightened the nuts of the chain. They brought joy, and sweet sweet memories that WE created ourselves. If there is anything that the organisation had helped, it is, to
us with hurtful experiences so that we all could heal together. They hammered the chain and we saw how strong it holds despite the scratches and chips. It was the right choice in not taking officer course. By not doing so, our memories would stay caught forever in the time whereby we shared the bitter-sweet memories, the laughter, the tears, the complaints...and the food in Westmall foodcourt... If I have ever fallen out of love, it must be with SjAB.
Jacqueline
8:08 AM
